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Why has he not offered to take me out? He's my ex. He'll spend time with me but that's it.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Friends, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 April 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 April 2012)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I am starting to develop feelings for my ex-boyfriend AND I don't really know If he's attracted or if he still has feeling for me. We dated years back AND I hadn't seen him in quite some time, like 11 years ago.

He is not married, but he is dating AND I'm not sure if its really serious or not. He does not talk much about his dating life, but whatever I ask him, he seems to be pretty straight forward.

He has been coming over to my house on a weekly basis, he calls a few times a week AND he spent the weekend with me AND my kids last week (no sex) and I really enjoyed his company.

He told me a few weeks ago, that he comes to my house because its so peaceful AND it makes him forget his problems. I never questioned his problems AND maybe I should have.

Now granted, my house is a real fun zone...I have all the bells AND whisles...pool table, home theater, bar, jacuzzi, you name it.

ALL my friends AND family always tell me they never want to leave. Now, I'm a bit frustrated...because no one.....friends AND family included ever invite me anywhere because they want to come to my house to party.

Now granted....we are not dating....however, if I need something done...he's right there. He has not said anything about being interested in me or attracted to me, nor has he invited me out for dinner or anything else. But on the flip side, he's starting to spend more AND more time with me. I've been out of the dating loop for over 10 years...so I'm a little slow. Is he interested or not?

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A female reader, ToHereKnowsWhen Australia +, writes (28 April 2012):

ToHereKnowsWhen agony auntFrom what you have said, it's difficult to tell if he's truly interested in you or not. Particularly because, as you have suspected, any feeling towards you may be distorted by you living in the `fun zone'.

It seems like you are just a friend and a good escape from his problems.

Perhaps you should seriously question him about the problems that he has come over to escape from. You may not want to know, but you really should know. Before you give him your heart, you need to find out what he wants or expects from you.

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (28 April 2012):

RAINORFIRE agony auntwho knows i think you should leave things as they are women tend to overthink everything and plan everything out ten years into the future.

if hes interested hell let you know when hes ready dont force his hand dont pressure him.

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