A
female
age
36-40,
*ummyummy123
writes:I want to really know why guys can never admit to there feelings? This one guy I like really seems into me. His actions scream out. Like he holds my hand when we go longboarding and we kiss every now an then. But then some of his friends tell me that he tells them he likes me well others say he doesnt. That doesnt even make sense to me. I also heard that they constantly ask him how we are and if we gonna date and stuff so i thought maybe he says no to shut them up. But i dont understand it.Then last weekend him and i had sex for the first time. He was a virgin. And the sex was so intimate between us that I could tell there was something there. He kept asking me if I was ok and apologized a few times cuzz he thought he may be sucking. Then after words we ended up cuddling the whole night and he kiss me a few times and it was sweet. But then to my friend he told her he was sooooo hammered. But that I know wasnt true. I want to know why he is denying things? Is he scared? Please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Trinklett +, writes (11 August 2011):
 You shouldn't let this guy kiss or sleep with you without you knowing what your stand is with him. Forget what his actions are screaming about; he should be man enough to voice out his feelings to you. If he's shy you guys have passed that stage and you're not going to find it amusing when he suddenly develops a voice box and asks some other girl out.
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (10 August 2011):
 Do not rely on someone ELSES friends for telling you the feelings of another person. Period. Let the guy tell you his own feelings.
You had sex, but there was never any discussion of a relationship, right? You probably feel really vulernable emotionaly (sex can do that) and you are wondering where you stand with him now.
Let him process things on his own shut out what his friends tell you. Just relax and see what HE says.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2011): This one guy I like really seems into me. His actions scream out
You mean because he kisses you and has sex with you? Hon, that is not a good sign when he wont' date you or admit to anyone he likes you. Guys will fool around with just about any somewhat attractive girl but that doesn't mean they like them enough to date. A girl who gives herself so easy will rarely have a chance at getting a real date..let alone a commitment.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (10 August 2011):
 Exposing one's emotions leaves one vulnerable. This is doubly true for guys, and we learn it at a much younger age - first from getting beat up in grade school (or watching others get beat up), then from getting shot down when we first start telling girls we like them.
Most guys learn that their life is easier if we lie and conceal our feelings. The degree to which it affects each individual guy is different, and there is some benefit to learning to master one's emotions and expressions thereof, but there is a fair amount of collateral damage.
To a man, actions speak louder than words. Saying "I care about you" holds a lot less meaning to a guy than just being there for you. If his actions say he cares about you, he cares about you. In this particular guy's case, being a virgin would have made him especially vulnerable if he said anything about it. Combine with people's natural tendency to exaggerate, and you get the conflicted answers from your friends (protip: disregard everything they say).
Let him express things through his actions until he is comfortable making himself vulnerable using his words. Be patient. Until he is comfortable with this, he will feel pressure to put up a front to his friends; first relationships can be like that. He sounds like a decent guy - he'll get better.
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A
female
reader, macy.lou +, writes (10 August 2011):
 Personally if he can't admitt to his feelings maybe he isn't worth it? I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but just put it into consideration?
I would just confront him about it, what other people say might not be too reliable.
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