A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I go to a big university but cant get a decent boyfriend. I would say I'm attractive and have a good personality but all the guys who are interested in me and vice versa only want to hook up and have sex with me. Even my male "friends" try to hook up with me when they are drunk. I havent slept with any of them because Im not a slut and dont sleep around. I want a stable relationship, to truly care for someone and they for me but it looks like that will not happen anytime soon. I dont get it, I dont dress slutty so why do boys only want me for sex and not a relationship?
View related questions:
drunk, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Susan Walsh +, writes (27 December 2008):
Guys are often more interested in No Strings Attached sex, and in the current hookup scene, they're getting plenty of it. Girls are more interested in relationships, but it's so hard to find a guy who is willing to commit. It's OK to hook up, but you have to be smart about the way you do it. You need to maintain your self-respect and insist on being treated that way. I give you a lot of credit for not compromising your values. You'll find lots of specific strategies and suggestions at www.HookingUpSmart.com.
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (27 December 2008):
 When guys try to "hook up" with you, make it clear that you mean NO. Don't worry about coming across as rude, these guys are not gentlemen.
It's good that you are standing your ground. Keep it up. :)
You say that you go to a big university. As counterintuitive as it seems, I had a harder time making friends at a big university than at a small one. I went to a big university (I regret it so much, but that's another story), but my senior year I was a foreign exchange student in Mexico at a small private university (the best decision I ever made). I made loads of friends there.
I think that at big universities, you just get lost in the shuffle. Everyone is preoccupied with going in their own direction and it's easy to get lost in a crowd. If you're otherwise happy with your college, then I'm not suggesting you leave just because you're having boyfriend problems.
You should see what clubs and activities are available on campus. I don't want to offend you if you're not a Christian, but some colleges have a club called Intervarsity, which is a Christian youth group. What sports do you like? Maybe you could help with tech for the drama department. In order to have a relationship, it helps to have interests in common.
...............................
A
female
reader, Pinky XxX  +, writes (26 December 2008):
 I know im probz not the best person to answer this as i am only 16 but i am in the same kind of problem myself. Personally from what i have seen and guys i have spoke to, most guys nowadays are actually scared to settle down to one girl, they tend to feel more comfortable just havin sex with someone when they can because it makes it different for them instead of being commited to one person. Although, one day a guy will come along and like u for hu u r and want to be with you and not just for sex.
Hope that helps, sorry if it doesnt. and good luck
...............................
|
