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Why don't the guys I fall for like me back?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 July 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *alu writes:

hi,

i don't know if this is me venting or not but any advice you could offer would be much appreciated.

it seems to be my luck that every guy i fall for doesn't return the feeling, or even worse they express no wish to have anything to do with me. and it's happened so many times that i'm feeling that i must be really un attractive, either physically or personality wise. with the latest guy i've fancied (i don't go through fleeting fancies where i fancy them just over appearance, i tend to fancy them more because of their personality rather than looks) i thought that we were getting along brilliantly. but it turns out that he told my best mate(their friends too) that he would never go out with me. the guy before that said that i was wrong in every way and that he wouldn't go out with me if i was 17 and he was drunk.

and i could run off a list of comments made by many guys, weather i fancied them or not. am i really that un-attractive that guys are telling me they wouldn't go out with me just incase i was thinking about it?

a part of me is just saying it's just bad luck, wade it out, things will get better. but another part of me is taking every blow to heart and it's making me feel terrible about myself.

could anyone offer any advice on how to feel better about myself i've tried everything i can think of. and could anyone offer any possible reason why i'm constantly being rejected? i'm 15, quite tall, not skinny by any stretch of the means but not overweight either, i'm happy with my body and i'm quite confident. with my physical appearance i can't really see why guys keep shunting me, i wouldn't say i'm un attractive anyway.

thanks for any advice you're willing to give

halu xx

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A female reader, halu United Kingdom +, writes (23 July 2010):

halu is verified as being by the original poster of the question

halu agony auntthankyou for the compliments. i don't tend to go for people my own age, because i see them as extremely immature beings, they're good for a laugh but i wouldn't want to go out with them. alot of the guys i seem to go for tend to be the left alone people, people who are in the year above me or higher, tend to be intelligent and are often very mature. i wouldn't say i go for the older type, just the mature type. then again where i live i'm the odd one out. i'm in the 'gifted & talented' group at school (not volentarily) which basically means i'm intelligent, and it gets rubbed in the faces of my peers (not by me, by the school constantly announcing tht i must attend a gifted and talented class that day) so i'm by no stretch of the means popular, or even averagely so. and i also dress differently to the vast majority of my peers.

so i reckon it's possible a mixture of the fact that i'm made out to be so much better than other people and the fact that i'm different, could be the reason for some of the crap responces i'm getting. so hopefully when i leave school my luck should get better :)

thanks for the advice and thankyou again for the compliment

halu xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010):

Hey, I don't really have advice to proffer, but want to second that I admire your comfidence, especially given your age. Given your age I'm guessing the boys you are interested are about the same age, perhaps they're not as mature as you and the idea of a proper relationship scares them. I'm not attracted to certain people, that doesn't mean I say I wouldn't date them even if I was drunk, that's immature and disrespectful. X

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