A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am getting a little crazy after spending few years with my bf who thinks it's a bad thing to tell the world what you feel, who you are... etc... it makes me think i'm wrong to tell friends about what's going on in our relationship, like when i'm sad or unhappy or angry etc... i can understand that he might feel uncomfortable with me telling HIS stuff to my friends, but now i feel guilty for even talking about my feelings now... sigh... no one person has ever told me "it's disrespectful to talk about your other half" before. he is the only one. is he shy about feelings?? or he has a lot to hide?? he cheated on me before... and i have a feeling that he doesn't want me to say bad things about him in front of others, so others can judge him... i have a feeling that he is just trying to make me stay in this relationship because i get no emotional help from others...i always thought it's the best to communicate, to let the ones you care know what is going on in your mind... that is how i was brought up... i just really want to know... if i am normal?? why would people actually not talk about their stuff??? do you think he said that just to not let me talk about his stuff while he actually does the same? i mean it really hurts if he just said it for that purpose while im suffering greatly on my own... just cant and don't understand why he can do that to me. i tend to believe he normally doesn't talk bad things about me, but there are things i believe he would tell others but he just never really admitted to me... i feel really unhappy being with him because i feel i don't know who he is anymore.please give me advice, as i feel im going nuts...... i do want honest feedback, or feedback from "cheaters" or "ex-cheaters" would be appreciated, thanks...
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female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (18 February 2013):
 Hi
I would *never* say bad things about a partner,to others,while my partner was in our company.Thats just humiliating or embarassing for everyone.I may joke he never brings me coffee in bed maybe,but nothing major.
I do have heart to hearts with a close friend or two I trust, when I have something bothering me,it gets things straight in my head just to share with them.Saves an argument with my man as I have calmed down and am reasonable,see my mistake or a way round things.Again I don't feel the need to tell a man when I have done this
Once my head is straight I would then talk to my partner.Communication is good.
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (18 February 2013):
 what is a relationship without communication?I am sorry to hear of your troubles, but you are young and have a bright future ahead of you.Realize your self worth and don't be with someone who refuses to open up, as if he is living alone. Be with someone who understands that their choices impact your quality of life.It is not fair that you have to feel as though you are not normal for feeling a desire to communicate with the ones you love about things that are important. Now not only is there that going on, but it is compounded with the facts that he has cheated on you, may talk bad about you, and leaves you suffering in silence as he goes on with his life.You are not nuts if you leave.You are nuts if you stay...Understood?
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