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Why don't I get offended by insults? and why do girls seem to get over-offended?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 July 2014)
A male United States age 18-21, *orge writes:

I find it unusual that when people (purposely) try to insult me, or tease me, or offend me, it fails. I haven't been offended verbally by anyone I know. Or maybe a different version of offense.

I got ticked when someone replied to my post a few days ago, and if that person is reading this, I'm sorry.

Im just incapable of being bullied it seems. To me, negative words are the manifestation of fear in a mask of lies.

I have a lot of girl-friends (friends that are girls) that when they get called ugly, or a slut, or something similar, they just close up. They crash and burn, and its something I don't understand at all. Is it just a girl thing? Or do I have some immunity to insults/trash talk?

This is also the reason I can't help when a friend is insulted, and feeling horrible and I can't really help because I don't know how it feels.

On a slightly related note, why do girls get so offended and break down when they get called a name, and it obviously isn't true?

Thank you all.

"War is just doing bad deeds and hoping something good will come of it"

-Forge-

View related questions: bullied

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A male reader, Forge United States +, writes (1 July 2014):

Forge is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Forge agony auntThank you so far, but I have a question for "anonymous": who are you? Send me a message if you don't want to say aloud, but it's kind of unsettling that you've read all of my questions. I'd like to know who's watching.

Thank you guys so far.

"A true hero is not that of physical strength, but of emotional bravery as well."

@WiseOwlE: did you know that all of my quotes are custom, directly from me? Just thought I'd say it. :) thank you good patron, you've helped.

-Forge-

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (1 July 2014):

Forge, if you can get "ticked" and then be "sorry," you are not the Vulcan guy you think you are.

Things may not bother you much, that's because you have developed a way to shut yourself off. You're going through puberty; and your feelings and emotions are confused by those changing hormones. You are as human as the rest of us. Trust me.

Girls are taught as they grow up that they are supposed to show their emotions. They can control them just like anyone else; but they are naturally-sensitive to some degree. They will react to insults quicker; because they are expected to.

They're told it's the girly thing to do. Some don't, and will knock your block off. So don't say it like that applies to all girls. You cross the wrong girl, and you will learn just how "not-true" your comment is.

Forge, you may need to pretend to care; just to put the appropriate feelings where they belong. You may not feel anything; but show sadness when things are sad, and be respectful of the feelings of others. Even if you have to fake it. You'll be doing it; because you know it is the right thing to do.

If you know you shouldn't say something because it will hurt someone's feelings. Use your logic and common-sense, and figure it out. Don't say it. Most people will not believe you don't feel emotions. So they will make sure you feel something; if they have to knock some sense into you.

So be careful and behave yourself.

If you see someone upset, say something you know will comfort them. Who knows, maybe it will wake-up your sleeping emotions. Sometimes it takes practice. You've mastered shutting off your feelings; but you don't want to come off as a jerk either. You know what emotions are appropriate for the occasion, so mimic everybody else.

You're a smart kid, so try it.

If girls are getting offended by the things you are saying to them; you shouldn't do that. Don't pretend you don't know right from wrong; because you know what "ticks" you off. Just make sure you're not letting your lack of feelings make you dis-likable. That would be pretty lonely. Some girls don't cry or get over-offended, they punch; and can kick your ass.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2014):

Please get counselling again; you have so many questions - which is fine - but we don't have all of your answers. You need a professional to help you with your insomnia, this and your past causing you to numb some of your emotions.

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