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Why doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 January 2014)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. He makes me extremely happy. He's attentive, caring, funny; one might say he's perfect. However, he doesn't have sex with me. The first six months or so we had a lot of sex. Then it sort of got hard for me to have sex with him. I'd ask him what was wrong, he'd say he doesn't need sex and say I'm a beautiful woman. So eventually I stopped trying. The other night I really wanted to be with him and we had sex. It was so great. Last night he proposed to me. I said yes right away but I can't help wondering why we don't have sex. He told me beautiful things while we were having it that made me feel truly desired by him. But why wouldn't he have sex with me? Do you think he'll continue like this? I've been told men don't touch their woman if they are having sex elsewhere but I'm positive he isn't cheating. He's much older than me. I've wondered if maybe he just can't get it up easily but I asked a doctor and he said men can get fully erect with no help until a very long period of time. Why do you think we don't have sex as often? I want to marry him but I'm in so much doubt about this. Sometimes when I make sexual comments he makes a joke out of them because it's funnier but it makes me feel like he just doesn't want to hear it.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (6 January 2014):

rcn agony auntI think he's attracted to you, and I'm sure you do have a good relationship, other than the sex thing. When older, sex seems not as important. When you're younger, and still in your prime, your desire for it will be greater than his. I'm in my 40's, and from the age you listed, he's older than I am, but I'll tell you, sex takes a lot of energy at my age, as I'm sure it would take more for someone 20 years older than myself.

I think you two need to talk. You need to express your concerns to him, and maybe come to a medium that will satisfy the both of you.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (6 January 2014):

person12345 agony auntI ask because among young healthy men porn addiction/overuse is one of (if not the most common) cause of low libido and/or ED. If he isn't really having sex anymore he should law off both things cold turkey for a few months to see if it helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He's 30 years older than I am. He watches porn but when the topic has come up he says a story of when he's watched it and mentions he doesn't often. I'm sure he masturbates. I do those things as well.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (5 January 2014):

person12345 agony auntFirst how much older is he?

Second, does he masturbate and or watch porn?

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