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Why doesn't he seem to care when I leave him?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 March 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2010)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello, I really hope someone can read this and offer some insight. This is a bit long, so thanks in advance for reading it.

I have been with my partner for two years now and everything is generally great. However, a few months ago after a very heated argument ( rare for us) I left him. It was something I did in the heat of the moment and after a week I regretted my decision and asked for him back.

However, in that week he never once tried to contact me. Not once. No e-mail, no phone call, not text...nothing. Until I contacted him to say sorry and ask for him back I did not get anything from him.

A few days ago after another argument, I said something which he took to mean that I was going to leave, even though I had no intention of leaving. All he said to me was '' tell me how much I owe you'' (he had previously borrowed some money which he said he would pay back. I asked him what he meant and he replied that he thought this was my parting speech (i.e. that I was going to leave). I assured him that I wasn't, we talked and we made up and everything is fine again.

However, it made me wonder why he doesn't do anything when he thinks I am going to leave! Does he not care enough, does he not love me?

WE do really have a great relationship and despite how it sounds we do not fall out all that much and rarely is it a huge fight. No foul language is used, everything is civil and they are mostly discussions. He has expressed a desire to get married, we live together and I am very much in love with him. It's not normal for me to leave when we have a fight, and I am not emotionally unstable that was just a one off thing. So its not as if its a pattern with me where I threaten to leave and then stay.

Can someone please explain his behaviour?

View related questions: money, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hey guys thank you both for your help :)

I never threaten to leave when we have an argument the one time thati did I was sure I meant it :(

I think perhaps he knows me better than I think or he respects me enough to go.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (1 April 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntHe is a cool and experienced guy and probably knows you better than you know yourself .

He knows that if you leave, you will come back to him again.Guess, he could read you like a book.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010):

It is a bad bad move to threaten him with dessertion when you fight. YOu should learn that relationships have ups and downs and if in the down periods your reaction is to run (even tho you don't want to do this, you still threaten to) then he will learn that you will not stick around for the bad times. And rightfully he SHOULD let you go if thats what you want to do. I would say instead of threatening to leave him, you should shut yourself in the room and calm down, let things settle in the relationship and then continue as normal. Good luck xx

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