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Why doesn't he ever text first, does he even like me?

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 February 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 12 February 2009)
A female Ireland age 26-29, *rincessSmithee writes:

Ive met this guy recentley.

long story cut short, i dont see him often, and we dont have any mutal friends.

Ive been speaking to him online for like the past 3/4 weeks and ive spoke to him in real life 2 times.

The last time we spoke we got on SO well. we bumped into each other at the bus stop, it was great. We went round town together for abit, and was making each other laugh and everything.

He says things like im really pretty, says i can come round seeing as we live so close, .. all those flirty, cute things.

he even metioned going to the cinema together.

The thing i dont get is .. il text him and he will always text back ..even if it takes him a while but thats boys for you.

He always writes long texts and puts x's.

Hes a really nice guy, i dont think he would be texting other girls the same things.

But i dont get why he NEVER texts me first, we can go without speaking for 3/4 days but he wont text me still. Then we end up speaking on line or something, or i end up texting him.

He seems really interested in me and seems happy when i text him, so why does he never text me first?

View related questions: flirt, text

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A female reader, PrincessSmithee Ireland +, writes (12 February 2009):

PrincessSmithee is verified as being by the original poster of the question

PrincessSmithee agony aunthey thanks for all the answers

Yeh we spoke on the internet and i ensured he wanted to go to the cinema. and he said yes course

but yesterdau the converstation was a little dry and he didnt seem flirty with me, so im abit worried

but im gonna ask him on friday if he wants to go cinema or something over the weekend .. so if he doesnt say something along the lines of yes. then basically hes gone off me

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009):

My husband did exactly the same thing when we started dating! and when he text back it was always 1 or 2 words (no x's) lol I was extremely frustrated! I tried playing all kinds of games to get him to text me first, but I only ended up making myself crazy. eventually he showed me in so many other ways how much he cared that it was no longer an issue. so i know it sucks, but at this point i wouldn't worry too much.

3/4 days is not that long for a guy not to be in touch. give him a chance - he's probably just shy or uncertain. When you really start seeing each other tell him how it makes you feel, if he likes you he'll try to amend his ways.

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A male reader, Anoniem Belgium +, writes (9 February 2009):

If it was me it probably be because:

I don't have anything interesting to say.

I don't want to bother her.

I'm afraid to say something wrong or seem to pushy.

Time flies and before you know it it has been a month since you saw her.

And in some rare cases testing if she would text me.

It has taken me up to 6 weeks to text someone while we normally talked every 3-4 weeks. But that doesn't mean I don't care about her. On the contrary, she's the most important person in my life.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009):

my man is the same extact way!!! lol but it doesnt bother me, cuz he just doesnt like to bother me, he rather me write to him, then he interupt something with me.

at first i hated it, but now i see the benifits,

so i would just talk to him, and tell him that u would like it that BOTH of u, started conversations, not just one of u

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A female reader, Horizon_Blue United Kingdom +, writes (9 February 2009):

Horizon_Blue agony auntDon't worry im like that too.. i think all boys are the same my boyfriend can leave the texting up to me.. its just something that he does..

when us girls are thinking why should i text him first... he is proberbly thinking the exact same thing..

i would not contact him for a while leave it up to him to text u first..then you will know if he really does like u or not..or better yet confront him with it, when u end a conversation say just give me a text later.. then you will see if he can be bothered or simply not at all..

that always works with my fella.

hope this helps xx

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A female reader, 2dareANDdream United States +, writes (9 February 2009):

2dareANDdream agony auntHi sweetie. So when I get into your situation I take his number out of my phone so I dont call or text him. I see if he texts me. If he doesn't I let him go.. I dated a guy like that, I told him I was tired of being the one to call him and text him all the time and he didnt ever put in any effort. It was because he liked me but really didnt care to much and if he lost me it wasn't that big of a deal.. So try that. Take his num out and let him call or text you first if he doesnt.. Your gonna have to let him go!

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