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Why does she still put me down? I just can't seem to do anything right in this relationship

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 February 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 23 February 2012)
A male United States age 41-50, *asterofpuppets writes:

i am 38 and i am in A relationship with A woman that just can't take my advice without thinking that I am trying to change her or be controlling. I am A decent man that has had issues with addiction in my past and have gone through great lengths to change my old ways.

I spent 1 year in rehab and have been clean and sober for over A year. I just can't seem to do anything right in this relationship, and no matter what my past haunts me because I believe she thinks I am A lower form of life than she is because of my past. I did 2 years in prison for second degree assault, Bar fight.. She holds it against me. what to do??

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A male reader, Masterofpuppets United States +, writes (23 February 2012):

Masterofpuppets is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Masterofpuppets agony auntThank you for the insight ladies. I do get A little insecure at times. XX

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A male reader, Masterofpuppets United States +, writes (22 February 2012):

Masterofpuppets is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Masterofpuppets agony auntSometimes I guess I just allow my insecurities to get the best of me. Stay clam focus and remember what you have learned and know about yourself

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012):

Well she isn't better than you,just different,I think thats a bit of a confidence issue on your part. You've proved how strong you are, you've changed your life for the good - that takes courage and strength of mind.

Has she told you you can't do anything right or is that just how you feel? Has she thrown the prison bit back at you or is that how you THINK she feels?

If she is actually saying all these things then you have a problem, you need to sit her down and tell her how you feel. Your partner should be encouraging, not putting you down. Thats what loves about.

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (20 February 2012):

Sweet-thing agony auntIf she truly felt that way, why would she be with you? Are you absolutely sure it's not just a little bit of your own insecurity peaking through at times? One thing I know for sure, men and women do not speak the same language. Here's an example:

Man: What do you feel like doing this week end?

Woman: I didn't make any specific plans what do you feel like doing?

Man: I don't know but we have four days off.

Woman: Maybe we could spend one day working on the broken toilet in your bathroom and then have fun the other 3 days.

Man: YOU'RE NEVER SATISFIED WITH ANYTHING I DO WHY DO YOU HAVE TO NAG ME ABOUT GETTING STUFF DONE? .......Get the picture? Men and women come into relationships with alot of baggage. And they rarely speak the same language about anything. Many times both sexes leap to the wrong conclusion, based on former things they've experienced or felt. For instance, my first husband was bad about procrastinating when it came time to do the simplest thing around the house. As a result I feel I have to suggest to my new husband what needs to be done and when I want it done. Which makes him crazy because he will do it without any nagging. It's a past habit that's hard to break. At the same time, his former girlfriend was a bit of a ding-head who didn't know how to balance a checkbook or manage her life but I am nothing like that. Yet he insists on telling me in some great detail how to do the simplest things; things I've already been doing for years. It's so annoying. Try not to take things too personal but do keep the lines of communication open, even if that means shouting at one another until 3:00 Am.

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