A
male
age
30-35,
*resario2010
writes:Okay so this might be a long story but here it goes! So when I was in highschool I liked this girl and we went out, but I later said somethings and she took them as if I did not like her and then she just kinda didn't want to talk to me afterwards! So later I talked to her and we kept talking for a while but later she just stopped replying to my messages! Anyways a year later I found her on facebook and she accepted my friend request and we started talking for a while, but she moved to a different country for a a year to attend university, so we kinda stopped talking! Anyways she recently came back and I sent her a message and she replied, I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime next week and she said yes, so during the middle of the week she sends me a message inviting me to a party and i said that i had other things to do, so i did not go! The next week I ask her out to hang out and she said she cant go, so i said cool! Then the next time I ask her out she does not read the message untill the next day and does not reply, what gives? I later send her another message, if she was okay, she reads my messages she just doesnt reply back! I'am not sure why she would answer me, the first time if she did not intend to contact me again, I was wondering if she was mad because i rejected her offer, because after that day her texts were kinda dull without feeling, as before she was sending me smily faces and just talking to me like crazy! What should i do should i just give her some space and maybe talk to her later?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 May 2014):
 Yeah I think the big mistake was refusing (for whatever reason) the invite to go to the party with her.
If you were not over the top apologetic she probably figured you are only interested in seeing her ALONE (i.e. for a hook up sort of thing).
I'm not sure that I would totally avoid her and let it go, but if you want to see her and DATE her properly then treat it as such.
apologize for not attending the party with her and let her know you were a fool for not making it clear that it was due to you having prior plans and you would never cancel plans with her to see someone else so you felt the same applied to all of your friends
offer to make it up to her
TAKE her somewhere on a DATE... and drop some money on her, then take her home and thank her for the lovely date and ask to see her again...right away. DO not put the moves on her at all.....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2014): I suggest you leave her alone, and DO NOT call her.
You rejected her invitation, claiming you had something else to do. Right after YOU initiated contact! Your apology will ring hollow in her ear, and it's really nothing more than an excuse. Remember who pursued who?
Well, she has gotten pretty used to your absence during that long gap in communication. So, if you were too busy, perhaps that sent the message your contact was pretty casual; and only for old time's sake. That's all it is anyway.
You missed the window of opportunity. Don't irritate her with apologies and nagging phone calls. Back out gracefully.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (19 May 2014):
 Messages cannot communicate what a person actually means and at times gives the wrong perception. I suggest you give her a call and chat to her. If she gives you the busy signal or the fact that she ignores your call then I best to leave her alone.
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