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Why does my wife wear sexy panties at work and granny panties at home?

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 September 2011) 11 Answers - (Newest, 10 September 2011)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I'll try to keep this brief.

She wears sexy panties and thongs to work but granny panties at home and sometimes, about 50% of the time, wears no panties to work. When questioned about no panties she explains she wore the same ugly pair because she was expecting her period.

She also wears some quite sexy and fairly revealing clothes to work without a bra and exchanges them for sweats when home.

Am I paranoid or do I have just cause to be worried about my wife?

Further, it seems sex isn't very forthcoming unless I get down or question her about it, then it happens the next day. And she is now doing things of her own volition which she has been against for a long time and it feels like either guilt or she's trying to make a point over not being asked to do these things. Please don't ask me to be specific.

Is she having an affair? Is she looking?

View related questions: affair, at work, bra , period

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A female reader, hot4shoes United States +, writes (10 September 2011):

hot4shoes agony auntI think that she enjoys feeling sexy and enjoys teasing the men in her office. Maybe you should encourage her during sex like my hub does. He likes for me to go bra-less and when we go out and I wear a short skirt he either wants me to wear a sexy thong or nothing at all...blush. I have breast implants and I always wear revealing tops and men look. It turns me on and my hub always attacks me afterwards...lucky me huh?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2011):

Is this new behaviour or has she always dressed up for work? some people love to dress up or really sexy when they leave the house, but can't be bothered to put the effort in at home, especially if they are really comfortable with their partner. I know lots of people who change out of their clothes or work uniform when they get home and put on sweats/pjs/ugly old t shirts.

the no underwear thing is a bit weird, but if that's just something she has always done, then its prob not a sign of cheating.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011):

Undressing for work is far more ominous that dressing down at home.

We all dress down at home...well those of us who are sane.

But, undressing for work, means something to someone, and it isn't you because you aren't there.

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (9 September 2011):

Stayc63088 agony auntWell lets see. I used to wear makeup to work, I'd wear thongs and like to look very nice. Now, being in a relationship and not trying to look great for any coworkers (because honestly... Why in the world should I take twice the time and uncomfort to dress up for those guys?) I have stopped trying so hard. I look decent enough for work, but I certainly don't dress like I'm dressing for someone. It seems like even if she isn't cheating she certainly wants to impress someone. And did it just start? Because if this has been her behavior forever then she has insecurity issues most likely and needs to be oggled by other men to feel attractive. Have you talked to her about it at all?

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A male reader, dougbcoll United States + , writes (9 September 2011):

dougbcoll agony auntit may not be an affair , but it is a RED FLAG ! something need,s fixed before it get,s broken.

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A male reader, Dreamland Australia +, writes (9 September 2011):

Do you know any of her coworkers who can perhaps shed some light on the situation as far as her interaction with her male colleagues are concerned? Gossip usually travels really fast in an office or work setting, so if she's having an affair I'm sure that her coworkers will know something.

I'm not advocating stalking her at work, but let's say that you find out from one of her friends that she, for example, talks a lot to some guy named John. You should then confront her one day out of the blue at dinner and ask her who John is while looking at her straight in her eyes; after you pose that question pay attention to her eye contact and demeanor, or any stalling tactic in order to make up an answer.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011):

sorry to say but this sounds VERY ominous. It's not just no panties, but you say no bra as well. And your last paragraph is pretty telling.

This is a very difficult situation because in the majority of cases, someone that is cheating will lie, and lie, and lie, and lie about it until irrefutable evidence is provided.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (9 September 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntSounds familiar...

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-does-she-dress-hot-for-work-but.html

What answer are you looking for? Yes, she's having an affair? No one on here can tell you that.

Does it sound like she is? Possibly. She dresses hot for work and wears no panties...that's all you have. You don't have any physical evidence.

Unless you can start following her around, or show up to her work unannounced to take her out to lunch, you got nothing and looks like you're going to have to drop it. Or hire a private investigator to tail your wife.

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A male reader, lakers_lover09 United States +, writes (9 September 2011):

Doesnt mean its an affiar but she is gEttin attention from someone thts y she is dressing to impress at work and dressing for comfort at home..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011):

I think you should tell her how you feel. Tell her that you love her. But it's worrying you about how she dresses when she is not at home and when she is. She might be having an affair?? But it seems as tho when she is in public, she wants to make herself feel good about herself. And have the world think she is beautiful. But when she is home, she feels relaxed. She feels as if she can be herself. Dress the way she would want to. And you think she is beautiful without her trying to make herself beautiful. That you like her how she is. But idk. I say talk to her about how you feel. Good luck.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 September 2011):

Honeypie agony auntSounds like is is super comfortable at home.

Could she have an affair, hard tosay just by going on what panties she wears or do not wear. No wearing panties to work sounds just plain weird.

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