A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been married last 30 years, but not happy from my wife just because have the filling that she never loves me from her heart. The reason for that she never smiles, she has never told me once that I love you or never expressed any signs of affections on her face. she acts as a best house-made, never shows happyness on her face. we are well settled and our son is studing in states. we have privacy all the time and I like romantic life and filling of love, care, afection from her. Even though I told her my frustration and depression is just because your behavior, it doesnt change her. It affects my health, my performance in my work. she is so stubbern that rather she prefers to sleep in seprate bedroom insted of just giving one smile. I love her very much and always care about her. Kindly, advice me why she behaves like that?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): If you ever tell her that you love her so much? Don't expect anything from others...just do your job. tell her and talk to her.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): because she really doesn't care about you... it's simple. If she did she'd quit hurting you. You need to decide if you're prepared to live the rest of your life with this "room mate" rather than a lover.
You don't mention the level of intimacy, when was the last time she allowed you to make love to her?
Life is too short to live with someone who wishes that you'd simply leave them alone (and all your money in her hands).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): it is her and not you. You cant change her if she doesnt want to change herself. If it is making you depressed i would tell her you might have to leave if it doesnt change
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 July 2010):
 You are hoping we have the answers as in general why women behave like this, no we don't. I am thinking she is starting menopause. Wives and husbands adapt to each other. After a long time living with each other, you start to look more like each other, you borrow words from each other and your personalities are more alike, so it's possible you are having the male version of menopause too. Black cohosh helps. But you said she has always been like that. How absolute can that be and is that an exaggeration? You mean 30 years you never never felt any love from her? Maybe her children have left and she's feeling the empty nest syndrome and she is wondering what role is left for her. Be confident that this phase will pass and she will come out as a calmer, wiser woman. Telling her you are depressed because of her only adds to her stress. Allow her to have her feelings and listen to her. Is she a housewife? Is she physically tired to handle all the chores? Can you help her some? Thank her all the years of housemaking.
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A
female
reader, ca girl  +, writes (21 July 2010):
30 years and she's never said, "I love you". I'm afraid you have a very big problem that can not be solved here. You love her, so you need to talk with her about getting help. Go with her to the doctor and explain her sadness. Perhaps some medication for her depression would help. (Sometimes it takes a while to find just the right medication) Ask to have her hormone levels checked - low hormones can make a woman sad.
If all is well there, take her out for a nice dinner and talk with her about your needs. I would suggest dating her again - taking her on a romantic vacation, bring her flowers, but if she's NEVER said she loves you, perhaps she doesn't. You may have to decide if you're better off in your loveless marriage, or if you'd prefer to live apart and take a chance that you'll find true love with someone else.
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