New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Why does my relationship with my cousin hurt my family?

Tagged as: Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 February 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 February 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *d34da writes:

About five months ago, I started talking to my cousin (first cousin once removed), who's about the same age as me(16), after being apart for quite a while. Before this, we would have occasional awkward 3-4 minute conversations, because we never really knew much about each other--and, honestly, we each thought the other was stuck up and mean--and never cared to learn.

Anyway, we started talking and became really good friends. We started developing feelings for each other, and, two months later, we began a relationship. It was all very innocent and secretive, but people eventually found out. Our parents sat us down and basically told us that what we were doing was hurting them, and that true love is not selfish(yes, from the Bible itself).

We tried separating because we thought it would be the right thing to do, but it was too late. He sneaked in my room twice, and you can assume what happened. My mom found out, told his parents, and now they have completely separated us.

I haven't talked to him or heard anything about him in four days (which is a lot, since we are used to sharing every second of our lifes with each other). I have no idea what to do, and I feel completely hopeless. I asked someone where in the bible it said anything about these types of relationships (my family is very Christian), and he could not tell me. What I want to know is, why does this hurt them? Why are these relationships so taboo in our culture?

Thank you

View related questions: christian, cousin

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, 738 United States +, writes (2 February 2010):

I know how you feel i am a christian but i believe that your supposed to be happy love is awesome it dosnt matter that he is your cousin at least he is not your brother go for it!

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, curious0hot United States +, writes (1 February 2010):

curious0hot agony auntIt hurts your family the same way you doing anything else that is wrong and shameful (according to our society) would.

You point out their Christian, but incest is considered disgusting by most people; regardless of religion. It's even illegal in most countries.

I only know one objective reason why incest is bad, and that is the increased change of birth defects.

You can Google why incest is taboo, and even Google what the bible has to say about incest.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010):

Because for one, he is your cousin, and surely, that's illegal? Plus it's your own family member, which could be another reason why this is hurting both your parents.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, DaveH United States +, writes (1 February 2010):

it shouldnt matter who they are or were they come from if you love the person thats all that should matter and if you really love someone never give up hope they can only keep you apart for so long so you two should try to mke the best of things for now and if ur lucky u can gain trust bak so you two can c eachother again and then when u two tunr 18 thay cant stop you two from being together

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Why does my relationship with my cousin hurt my family?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0156186000021989!