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Why does my husband want threesomes?

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Question - (15 August 2008) 9 Answers - (Newest, 1 November 2010)
A female Pakistan age 36-40, *shu_beelu writes:

My husband and I have been together for ten years. He has always wanted to indulge in threesomes and he wants to see me have sex with another guy. I have reluctantly indulged in threesomes with him but never let the guy have sex...just foreplay and all.

I am always feeling guilty later and feel immoral and so unright. Why does my husband want another person between us?? Why can't he be satisfied by me alone?? I am hurt and confused. You think he'll leave me eventually if I stop agreeing to such things altogether???

View related questions: foreplay, sex with another, threesome

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010):

My husband said to me "you don't understand i have been sleeping with the same girl for 13 yrs" he said he didnt mean it like it came out" how else would anyone take that if their man said that. anyway, what he was getting at was that we needed some excitement or a change in our bed. he said he loved me and didn't want to have sex with another woman if i was not there. It took some time and he convinced me that there was nothing wrong with a threesome. Actually i thought abt how it would be with another woman in bed with us. ok so one nite i surprised him w/an escort just to take care of him he said he always wondered how it would be if 2 girls went down on him (the girl was not what i asked for but u know what my husband didnt care abt her looks or body all he wanted was 2 girls going down on him) we asked the girl if she wanted to hang out another time without going thru the escort service and we did. quite a few times. and u know what my husband wanted me to be taken care of also and we had a great time its not as bad as it sounds you never know u might just enjoy yourself

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A male reader, axio Pakistan +, writes (25 August 2009):

You must refuse. This is outrageous to say the least. And such a person cannot be your true lover. He is very selfish and is corrupting you and the whole family.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2008):

I am in the situation my husband want another man to have sex with me. we are happily married i have only been with my husband however he has had women before me, i'm so confused as to what to do i want to do it for him because i think he needs it for some reason and he wont be happy until i do. however i'm not 100% sure i'm so scared as to how i will feel afterwards... any suggestions

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008):

Sorry babes, I am hurting and angry for you. Good luck and may our blessings go with you and keep you and your children safe from harm.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008):

No you are not.. Some people like to do these things, and it's alright for them. But most people hate it and it would make them feel dirty too. How would your husband feel if you agreed to a threesome but only if it was another man having sex with him? I bet it would make him feel as dirty as you. Your feelings are normal, this is what you feel when somebody forces you to do sexual things that you do not like. If he demands this off you again, tell him that you will tell everybody, his mother, father, family, friends and neighbours that he is a very sick, abusive man. Don't worry, but don't ever, let him push you into anything again.

I'm angry enough to say, if he tries then you should hurt him real bad and tell the police that him and a friend tried to rape you. Sorry, but I'm angry. I think you should run away and leave him, this man is evil.

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A female reader, ashu_beelu Pakistan +, writes (16 August 2008):

ashu_beelu is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Friends!! thanks so much. I am feeling more determined now to say NO to this. You know what? I dont even want to touch ny kid after a threesome...this is how bad and dirty I feel. You think I am an extreme case?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008):

I think you should stop agreeing to these threesomes and if he leaves you because you refuse to indulge his fetish then that can only be a very good thing. You would be better off without him. Much better off.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008):

You present as aged 30-35 and currently living in Pakistan, you have allowed another man to touch your body, but it makes you feel bad. The question is not why your husband wants this, but why do you allow it to happen. Your not having any fun, you feel guilty, immoral and unright. Your husband may like this, but you don't so you should stop. You love him, this is good, he's your husband. But how far will you go to keep him. Eventually he will demand you have sex with others, maybe more than one man at a time. Will you do this too. Is your marriage worth your self respect. Your husband is using you. Your not having fun, he is. If he loved you more he wouldn't allow you to do something that made you feel bad. I suggest you don't allow him to bring anybody else into your bed, and if he dosen't like it, well I suggest you divorce him and tell the judge, that your husband demands you have sex with other people. Stop this, you will feel worse and worse every time it happens, and eventually you will leave him because he's making you feel like a whore.

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A male reader, saltwater United Kingdom +, writes (15 August 2008):

saltwater agony auntWell I have no personal experience to give other than to say that you should browse this site for threesome questions and see the damage that a "full on" threesome can do to a relationship.

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