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Why does my husband want me to "whore" myself out?

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Question - (15 September 2010) 12 Answers - (Newest, 9 October 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My husband is always after me to reveal my private bits to other people. For example, if we are going out for the evening with another couple, he loves it if I wear a sheer bra and a blouse that gapes open. We went biking on the path and he got me to wear a tank top that revealed most of my breasts- to everyone we went by. He even likes me to wear super revealing clothes when he is not there, and then tell him about what reaction I get from men. He gets an erection just hearing about it

I have very mixed feelings about all this. On one hand, I don't fully understand why he wants me to show myself to other men. It's kinda like he wants to whore me out.

Also, I worry about what friends may think. For example, he got me to wear a spandex exercise top alone that I usually double up, for jogging. Well my nipples became very visible when I started getting flushed from exerting myself, and we ran into a neighbor. Boy did he get quite a view.

Now this made my husband very horny, and he was all over me the second we got home - as he usually is when I do this for him.

So, this makes me uncomfortable, it seems a bit weird and creepy sometimes, it's embarrassing if we see someone we know. On the other hand, I get excited to see him so excited. Sometimes I evev fantasize about the men looking at me, meaning I am starting to like it wholly apart from this sort of shRed experience with my husband.

Do any of you have a spouse or bf who wants this? Have you entertained this request? Do you think it is OK, or did you end up with regrets?

View related questions: bra , breasts, erection, horny, nipples

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010):

hi, um it is strange that he makes you do something like that. if you dont like it then you shouldnt have to keep doing it and he should respect that if he loves you. if you do enjoy or dont mind then thats very admirable of you and its easy to see you love him. i personally enjoy when my girlfriend is willing to do something eccentric in a sexual way because it catchs me off guard and it makes me feel special. so just make sure the intentions, both of you should be at an understanding. aslong as you both arnt being too selfish

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010):

Nothing wrong if you both like it, have fun! you'r not hurting anyone. I think i'ts just kinky fun and why should you wear bra and knickers all the time, takes longer to get undressed and time is important espcially if the urge struck you both outdoor's. Class and Trash, i often dress classy with a hint of trash, and the two go well together. If i were called a whore i would not be offended, it's one of those extra facets in a playful relationship. Love ! this does not diminish his love for you or cheapen you UNLESS YOU BELIEVE IT DOES, other's VALUE of you .....Do you live in other people's shadow's their morals and values....and take your worth from them....live your life as you see fit make your own values.

If you are both happy playing and are not hurting anyone

have fun.

The only regret would be sat in a rocking chair thinking i never explored my sexuality...

Spunky monkey :)

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (16 September 2010):

dirtball agony aunt"I am not doing this looking for anyones respect. I do it because my husband and I like it. We have fun doing it."

That's the right attitude in my book! Good on you for finding something you like and running with it.

Remember, just because some people may not like or understand what you're doing, that doesn't make it wrong. It's only wrong if you are forced or it's against your own moral code. People who try to impose their morals and hangups on others make me sick. Be who you are and have fun with it.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (16 September 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntA vouyeurism fetish is not unuusal but acting on it to this extent can be. There's nothing wrong with being proud of your body and showing it off, but there's ways to do it and people you should be doing it in front of...Showing off cleavage or a bare midriff is fair game, but anything that would classify as nudity is not a good idea.

I wouldn't cast any aspersions on whether your husband loves you, not yet anyway. But you would want to be careful.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010):

I am not doing this looking for anyones respect. I do it because my husband and I like it. We have fun doing it.

I also have to say, that I like being objectified by my husband at times. To be a sexual object, a sex toy, can be good fun. At the end of the day, I know he loves me dearly, so what isbthe great fear of role playing, being objectified. If it were all the time, then yes, I would not like it. But sometimes, often actually, I like to be his little sex object, that houses to get off

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (15 September 2010):

dirtball agony aunt"Do you all feel it's OK for me to do this, even if a big part of my motivation has nothing to do with my husband? Have any of you women, or men, been down this road before? Must it end badly?"

Yup, absolutely ok. You two are starting to share a fetish. Your own little adventures can fuel his fire even more. I think it's hot that you are starting to embrace something about yourself that you hadn't before.

It doesn't have to end badly, just make sure you keep it in bounds. I think you two need to talk about this. Have a discussion about what you are and aren't comfortable with. Once the ground rules are set, have at it! It will lead to a deeper connection between the two of you and will also likely lead to some amazing sex. Nothing wrong with that!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 September 2010):

Honeypie agony auntSince you seem to get something out of this, I'm not sure why you are disliking the idea so much. It is because you THINK you should feel differently? That you "ought" to be modest?

Personally I find people showing off their bodies pretty normal. ( I come from a place with nude beaches and clothes optional parks) To me it just shows that the person is OK with their own body. Do people NEED to flaunt themselves to be OK with their own bodies? Of course not.

However, I don't like that fact that he is being so controlling for his OWN sexual gratification and the fact that you do it. It seems like he is proud of having you as his mate, and that he has a sexual fixation with the reactions YOUR body gets.

Whatever rocks your boat.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010):

Personally I think its just oddly weird!!

I cant understand you going along with it either - for instance, if I saw you flaunting your privates, I'd just think you were a slag/whore, but whatever floats your boat!

I'm sorry but you did ask...

Steve S

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010):

I guess, to be honest, what worries me most is that I am starting to like it. Letting men see down my shirt, or up my skirt, showing a little too much at the beach. My worst confession is that I wore a very skimpy bikini to swim laps at the public lap pool. Needless to say, the lanes next to me stayed full the whole time. The fact that men could see much of my body thru their goggles underwater made me very excited.

I feel very self conscious and embarrassed to admit this "out loud" even here as an anonymous poster.

Do you all feel it's OK for me to do this, even if a big part of my motivation has nothing to do with my husband? Have any of you women, or men, been down this road before? Must it end badly?

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A female reader, person12345 United States + , writes (15 September 2010):

person12345 agony auntHe clearly has a voyeurism fetish. It's common and unless he forces you to do something that makes you uncomfortable or tries to pressure you, I wouldn't worry.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (15 September 2010):

dirtball agony auntThis is actually a pretty common fetish. Some men go so far as to request their wife sleep with other men so he can watch.

He loves the idea of you turning people on. The fact that you turn people on excites him likely on a couple of levels. One would be the sheer fact that you are so damned sexy that everyone wants you. This affirms his manhood since he's the one you're with. The other comes from his fetish.

I think all guys like the feeling when their date turns heads. It's a bit of that primal instinct and showing off. He wants to take it a step further because that's what gets him off. No harm if you are into it too. He may have a little of an exhibitionist fetish mixed in as well.

I'd suggest setting some ground rules. Instead of doing things like that around friends, focus that on strangers. Out biking or jogging isn't a bad idea. Maybe wear some revealing cloths and sit on separate areas on the same train car so he can watch strangers check you out. Draw your lines where you're comfortable and try to find a happy medium.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (15 September 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntNope can't say I've been pimped out by my boyfriend or husband. Usually men are trying to get their sexually open wives to tone down their wardrobe so men aren't gawking at their butt cheeks hanging out of those shorty shorts. Now, I see it perfectly healthy to wear a little cleavage baring tops for your significant other..and I can see how you're satisfying his sexual fetish. But there's a fine line between class and trash. You don't want to give your friends, or your neighbors the wrong idea about you and your husband. In other words, attracted unwanted sexual attention from creepy men or men asking if they can join you for a 3some. Put your foot down and tell him you will satisfy his sexual urges in private and not in public.

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