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Why does my husband think its right to put me down?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 July 2012) 1 Answers - (Newest, 30 July 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

why is it when my husband puts me down he thinks it's right?i use to be controlling and not allow him to work and follow him everywhere he went and went threw his phone to see what he was doing on his phone and i know that is not right so some of the things i stopped doing because it just wasn't right but the one thing i still dois go threw his phone because he will take off for days and then come back and i would ask him where were you and who where you with and he would tell me myob and that is wht today i dont trust him i want to but not sure if i can.he pawned his wedding band that is what hurt me the most other then walking out on our kids.i want a healthy marridge. He also said he was lonely because we don't have the same IQ/EQ and i didn't know we had to have the same iq/eq i made a lot of mistakes but i'm trying to learn from them and he thinks he doesn't do anything wrong and im to blames for all of it.I thought when we became married we were ont but he still thinks we are two.so please help i can onl be responesable for me.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (30 July 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntYour right you can only be responsible for you, and you have learnt to realise that controlling your man is not the best way to deal with things, however even though you have stopped now, it does not mean you automatically trust him, as it is clear that you don't, it is also clear that he does not help you regain trust as he just disappears for days on end and he does not show you any respect. Off course you are going to wonder what he is up to. Is there any love between the both of you at all. You need to sit down with him and talk to him, tell him how you feel and ask him does he want to work on this marriage. To me it sounds like he does not take you seriously, and just walks all over you because he knows he can. It is time to tell him either you both work on it or else it is over, if he does not put in an effort then you are better off without him.

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