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Why does my husband spend so much money on the family? We can't afford it!

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 January 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 14 January 2009)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

My husband spends too much money on his kids and grandkids. How can I get him to stop? Our finances (along with most everyone else's) have took a severe hit this year. We cannot afford it! I've tried to explain this to him and at the time of our talk, he seems to understand and then the next thing you know, he's finding something else the kids would like or that he thinks they need, he rationalizes it out by saying "I'll sell something or do a job for someone or something". And here we go, another purchase that we can't afford and no more mention of coming up with extra money except for maybe a suggestion on cutting down on some of our household expenses.

These are not small kids in our care. They are grown adults with children of their own. Two of the kids make more money than my husband or myself and I'm not sure about the other child's finances. My husband's ex left him and the kids when the kids were still teenagers and I think he feels like he needs to compensate them because Mom left them alone. Who knows what his rationality is?

He never spends the money on me that he spends on them. And, I know I'm going to hear that I'm a jealous, whining second wife from someone but so be it! He has great kids and I'm sure none of them would mind if he scaled back on the gifts. This is putting our finances in a bind and making me really upset.

We just spent about a $1000 on their Christmas and now we are shopping for birthday presents for two grandkids. It never ends.......and we are expecting two more grandbabies this year!

My husband is a very loving, generous person and I think in his mind, these are still his "babies" and he has to take care of them and make them happy. How do I tactfully tell him that we cannot afford this and it is ultimately going to drive a wedge in our marriage?

View related questions: christmas, jealous, money

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A male reader, roadman United Kingdom +, writes (14 January 2009):

roadman agony auntWell just show him what you've put here....

You can't do better than that!

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