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Why does my hubby want me to lick, finger, and penetrate his arse. Does this mean he is gay or bi?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 July 2010) 12 Answers - (Newest, 16 July 2010)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

"OP Own Title" Why does my husband want me to play with his butt so much? He always wants me to touch it, finger it, even lick it. He is often putting it in my face during 69. I don't particularly like it, but do it sometimes when I am drunk or just to make him happy. Thing is, when I do, he chums almost immediately.. He totally loses it. Lately, he has intimated that he would like it if I shoved my vibrator up there.

Does this mean he is really gay, or bi, or that he has strong tendencies this way? After all, what he wants me to do could just as easily be performed by another man. He also is obsessed with my butt. Licking, fingering, wanting to do u know what. Some of these feels nice, but I find it weird, and very unmasculine for him to be so uncontrolled and excited about this stuff, that he could just as easily do with another guy. It's like he really gets nothing out of using my pussy - and I have a NICE pussy, I promise. Other guys I've been with expressed passing interest in this, but he really loves it. What gives? Is my hubby really gay?

View related questions: drunk, fingering, vibrator

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (16 July 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt If you have a nice pussy why do you say you are a male between 36 and 40 ?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010):

I've had women hit my prostrate anally, and it adds stimulation, but in no way makes me cum on contact. It actually makes the head of my cock tingle and gives you that feeling like you get just before you cum...I think that's what most guys mean. And if it's stimulated hard with little penile contact, yes, stuff comes out, but it's not semen...its probably prostrate fluid. It's thin and milky. Not thick like semen. Not a lot comes out...maybe like 1 spurt or less. But that's me. Maybe other guys actually have orgasms over it, but I don't know of any, and my friends and I talk...

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A female reader, 1989BABY United States +, writes (15 July 2010):

1989BABY agony auntMedically the mens "G SPOT" is actually rectal. So You can only imagine how pleasureable that is for him. I find that normal

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 July 2010):

Honeypie agony auntNope doesn't necessarily make him gay or bi. It makes him curious. If you don't want to lick or finger him, be honest.

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (14 July 2010):

Moo's Mum agony auntThe G spot on a guy is in their anus so I guess that's why he likes it I don't think it means he's gay. You could ask him why he likes it so much and tell him you're not so keen on it for yourself. Honesty is the best policy with sex.

Good luck doll

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (14 July 2010):

dirtball agony auntNot necessarily. The prostate is often referred to as the male g spot. While I've never experienced this, it is possible to make a man orgasm just by rubbing it. No stimulation to the penis at all. He likely found this very pleasurable and wants to explore it with you. Just because he likes you paying attention to his anus, doesn't make him gay. The real question is if he likes penis. If he starts heading that direction, then I'd be worried.

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A male reader, xnickx United States +, writes (14 July 2010):

xnickx agony auntno no no. He's not gay.

Yes, it could easily be performed by a guy. But it's not being performed by a guy, its being performed by his wife. I severely doubt he'd let another guy do this.

You could also have everything he's done performed on you by another female with the right toys, but i doubt it would be the same eh?

Anal penetration for males will stimulate the prostate, which acts as our g-spot. His may be extremely sensitive and he obviously really enjoys this.

i 100% guarantee you this is normal.

Hope i was of some help.

Nick.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010):

It's a fetish, that's all...and a very common one for guys. I am not into it like he is, but I do love when my GF massages my ass and accidentally brushes my anus. I have, on occasion, inserted things in my ass, and I can tell you I am in no way gay. I just love the completeness of stimulation in all areas. Your ass (his ass) is one of those areas. It is very sensitive, private, and it just feels good. Ever get that free, natural feeling you get when you go outside naked? Well, that's kinda the feeling you get from complete stimulation. It's kinda risque, kinda dirty, kinda out there...just a "complete" feeling.

Then again, he could be totally bi...if he says he wants to bring a guy into th epicture, you'll know it's more than curiosity or experimentation.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010):

well mabey you should talk to him about this and try and tell him how you are feeling he might tell you that he has feelings for men or both men and woman but dont get worked up up because you might be getting worked up over nothing just talk to him about it and try and work thigs out xxxxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010):

Not necessarily. He could find a gay lover if he wanted after all couldn't he. But don't do things you don't enjoy; he shouldn't expect you to.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010):

I do not think your husband is gay. I think he is comfortable with you. Every guy is different. Some do not want you to go anywhere near the area and swear its gay and others know what they like, but even then they have their limits. Some like for you just to lick and get upset if you use your finger, others like just the finger. Some like you to just lick their testicles and they go crazy and others are turned off by it. Your husband is really comfortable with experimenting with you sexually. He is masculine enough to continue to try things that he likes that others think are gay. My partner likes for me to lick him and occasionally use a finger. He is super sensitive and loves it to death! He is very "manly" and he didnt want to at first but when I saw how he responded to licking I was curious. We started there and worked our way up. He is way more open to try new things now and he doesnt think i think he's gay, And I dont think he's gay. I think your husband had an intense orgasm involving "down there" with you you in the past and he has been hooked every since. This is a good thing and usually guys that like to experiment usually LOVE to give you oral all the time. Anyway, this is just my opinion. I have always had a fantasy to use a strap on on my guy while stroking him at the same time. He will never do it but hey you have the chance to realllllllyyyy please him. So go for it. Now if he starts watching man on man porn, or ask you to bring a guy into the bedroom, then he may be gay...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010):

OK so here it shows that you are male. I assume that your a girl since you said "I have a NICE pussy". Being gay means that you're interested in being with someone the same sex as you. It does sound a bit weird, but as long as he is into you be doesn't sound gay. Speak to him and tell him that you think it's weird and was just wondering if it's normal according to him.

NightFairy

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