A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. And I know it was a good decision, yet I still think about him a lot. He holds grudges and it's so apparent in the way he treated me. I want us to be together. He has his good and bad traits just like me. But I've learned to let go of the anger I've had over things he's done in the past. But he hasn't forgiven me. Which lead to me breaking up with him. He would seem like he was cool, but when I needed him, or confronted him about his facebook flirting he gets nasty and brings up things that happen between us from yrs ago. Like he's still mad at me and feels justified in acting like a jerk when ever the moment hits him. I've never cheated on him. We just disagreed on a lot of things that he's still angry about. Should I hold on or move on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree with each of you. He is a insensitive jerk. I guess that I wasn't looking at the situation from the direction you guys pointed out. My self esteem took a nose dive during this relationship. But I kept telling myself that what was happening was just a part of the ups and downs of a relationship. Not to mention that he always reminded me that he loved me. Yet, love isn't suppose to hurt. It doesn't try to punish you. It doesn't call you names, or leaves you on your own when your sick. Love doesn't disappear and reappear. I kept trying to understand how I got to this point. How did I become this person. Until someone told me that it was a learned behavior. But now I have to unlearn it. And just like I didn't get to this point overnight. I realize that I need to give myself time to undue the negative situation I subjected myself to. I have to start working on me, before I can start working on a new relationship. And I'm just going to take it one day at a time. Thank you for your comments. They were very helpful..
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 June 2010):
God yes, move on. Why live with a jerk when you can do better?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 June 2010):
God yes, move on. Why live with a jerk when you can do better?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): My ex has been doing that lately. I told him I 'just wanted to be friends', but he now hates my guts (and then some). Your BF is probably just the same, and feels sour about being dumped - I know a lot of guys do. Move on, that's what I say. If he's being a jerk, he's just not worth your while. He won't change for anyone, perhaps that's just the way he is. If so, at least you've seen his true colors.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (9 June 2010):
 Be a strong woman!
Why stay in a relationship with a man who is nasty to you, who makes you feel insecure and hurt and upset. Who takes out anger and resentment towards you?
Perhaps take some counseling? Improve your self-esteem and break this constant cycle of going back and forth. He's mistreating you, he's done it for years, it won't stop.
Have more respect for yourself than he does!
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A
female
reader, cecebaby +, writes (9 June 2010):
 I say you should move on . Hes doing something bad or he wouldnt turn it around on you like that. If you do choose to hold on tell him his boundries stand up for yourself tell him if does anything to make you mad its done. Tell him yo9u love him and everybody makes mistakes your not perfect and neither is he the past is the past and if he really loves you he will forgive .
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 June 2010):
 You broke up with him 2 months ago. Why would you hold on? Why??? He acts like a jerk, yet you come crawling back to him with your tail tucked between your legs. Apparantly, you base your self esteem on what HE thinks of you. Your brain knows he's toxic and bad for you, so you broke up with him, yet your heart is grovelling and saying "I deserve it". He will not change. Don't hold out for this change. You're 36-40 and have no time to waste on losers.
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