A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear all. please help. I split with my ex bf a few months back, and have been trying very hard to get over him, which has been really difficult as I loved him a lot. He has a lot of family and finance problems, and was controlling. Anyway, we tried the FWB thing, but I was too attached and it didn't work, so I told him firmly I cannot do that anymore. However, he still calls me up and messages me, and we have friendly chats, and then I suggest we see each other, as it's been some time, and he says he will come and does not turn up and does not answer my calls. He is even the one suggesting it sometimes, then he lets me down, then he calls up again a week later as if nothing has happened, and be's all nice again. It is confusing and hurtful, and I feel that every time I am getting better he steps back in and strings me along, and I don't know why. xxx I am trying very hard to get over this guy. why has he been so hurtful for the past few months? x
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello all, Thank you very much for taking the time to answer my question. I know in my hear that the only way is to cut contact, and have now blocked him from all avenues. I feel a certain sort of peace having done that. I put up with it for so long, as I wanted to belive in him, and could not face the truth that some could be that callous - or infact, that I allowed myself to be used ( which I did). I won;t be making this mistake again with anyone. No more contact. I AM too good for him. I will be writing this down. I want to move on and be happy. Thank you for your love and support Cupids. Time to move on... xxx :o)
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (17 December 2010):
 Change your phone number and move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): just tell him to forget you and u move own it will get better in time
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): You are putting yourself through the mill for nothing. He doesn't care for you enough and likes to keep you on a string. If you can summon up the courage to go for no contact, that would be the best option. What is the point of staying in contact? He just lets you down. He breezes into your life for a moment and breezes out again leaving you upset. Also you'll not give yourself the chance to get over him if this lose type of contact continues. Think dignity and self esteem, 'I'm worth more than this' - write it on a 'post it' and stick it wherever you'll see it most.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): You must stop seeing him now! As painful as it sounds you are doing this to yourself. Being a FWB is degrating if you have any feelings for him at all. Don't do that to yourself. He has clearly told you, by his actions, that he thinks that you are not good enough to keep. You are only good enough to use and throw away like an old tissue. But you are good enough. In fact, you are too good for him.
You MUST believe that. You are too good for him. Stop answering his calls now. Find people who value you and respect you. And respect yourself enough to leave him behind.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (17 December 2010):
 I agree with DrPsych. Why even bother with him anymore? You keep putting yourself in the situation. At some point you have to take some personal responsibility here.
It's time to cut contact!
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (17 December 2010):
 You are asking the wrong question. It shouldn't be 'why has he been so hurtful for the past few months?'. Rather I suggest you ask the question 'why have I let him be so hurtful for the past few months?'. If he doesn't arrive at pre-arranged times then it is because he has no respect for you and doesn't feel like putting an effort in. He thinks he can do pretty much as he likes and you are always waiting there in the wings for him. He may not be a very nice person but you are in control of your own actions and emotions. He hurts you because you let him. It is clear that you have deep feelings for this man. Unfortunately he doesn't feel the same way and just drops by to schedule sex when he isn't doing anything better with his time. He maybe an arrogant control freak but you are the one settling for shoddy treatment. It is time to get tough with yourself, stop talking to him, forget about him and give yourself some time to get over him. By focusing on a man who is unwilling to offer you anything, you exclude the possibility of finding one who offers you everything.
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