A
female
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:so I'm 16, i stayed at my bf house (ex now) we didn't do anything. i swear, but when i woke up that morning i had bruises everywhere and i felt real funny down there. i told him about it he said it was my problem and my body. anyways, we are broke up now. due to a long story. but now hes a friend. and i talk to him occasionally. but he asks me almost every-time if i am pregnant, or if i say guess what. he will ask if i am. why would he do this?it's a little weird.its been 3 + months. and I'm still a virgin he knows that... so help?
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broke up, my ex, still a virgin Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009): Well, the most logical answer to this is that he probably raped you in your sleep. What you should do is go to your doctor (or a gynecologist) and get checked out to see if your hymen is broken etc. If it is, then you probably ask your doctor if it looked like a forced entry and then report this to the police. This may seem embarrassing and probably there's not much evidence left, but he can still get into A LOT of legal trouble if he turns up guilty. Plus, the fact that he constantly asked if you were pregnant can bring up a lot of evidence and suspicions too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni don't have anyone to talk to it about, i have no proof he raped me there's nothing on my body that shows it now. i told him a took a pg test and it was negative, he was like ok. so i dont know....
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (21 October 2009):
 !!! I meant talking it through with THEM - THE POLICE!!! Not with him!! Don't have any contact at all with him. Don't look at or speak to him if he sees you. Completely blank him.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (21 October 2009):
Look, he is obviously a total bastard, and dangerous, and you have done really well to get rid of him. It would have been best if you had explained about the pills to start with, but that's ok. What he has done is very very nasty, and to be honest he could be prosecuted for it, and no doubt it has upset you a lot. You came on here looking for help, and got a few strong comments back, but that's only because we didnt' have the full picture.
I think you should:
- feel happy that you got out of this
- feel lucky you aren't pregnant (because if you've done the test, you aren't)
- consider telling someone what happened (eg, doctor) and getting some counselling about it, and/or maybe also reporting him, if you can bear going through that. He has behaved so badly that really he should be sorted out, because he will only do it / and worse to someone else.
The most important person now is you, though. Have you talked about this to someone? Have you got friends or family who are supporting you? This kind of treatment shouldn't happen. And his stupid comments about 'are you pregnant - i don't need a kid now' are only his further showing-off. He's trying to show that he did have sex with you. And I'm afraid I"m pretty sure he did - that is why he wanted you to take the pills.
So, basically we have rape, forced drugging, and physical and emotional abuse and threatening. How do you feel about it? Because I would feel like calling the police and at least talking it through with him. What a bastard and idiot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes like i said in my story me and him have already broke up, but thinks for everyone's help.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (21 October 2009):
 Sorry, my bad, I usually don't read all the posts. Oh yeah, next...dump your boyfriend. He's a drunk, pill popper who calls you names. Report back when you dump him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionif you would read some below. i have taking the test.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (21 October 2009):
Okay, drinking and pills can kill you. Did you know that whomever was prescribed these pills and shared them could go on trial for manslaughter had one of you died or had to go to the hospital? Yeah, you are a dumby, gezzush.
Report back once you've taken that pregnancy test.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo he said take the pills or i can make you.
he was very angry and drunk.
so i gave in like a dummy! after him calling me mean and hurtful names.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (20 October 2009):
Your boyfriend pried your jaws open and stuck the pills down your throat like a dog? That's how someone would "make" you take pills. Anything else is a choice, wouldn't you agree? Are you leaving something out?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni didn't throw him under the bus! he made me take the pills. and that's why i came here to ask this question. gezzush.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (20 October 2009):
Ok, so well done for having told the truth now. You've done the right thing, if a little bit late. So your question really is could you be pregnant from whatever you did - yes, but since this was some months ago (yes?) then you aren't pregnant, because you would know by now.
But it does sound like you aren't a virgin any more. Well, not physically, although if you can't remember anything, then psychologically you still are.
I hope you've thought about how it isn't any kind of idea to be taking any kind of pills. A crazy thing to do, and you're lucky nothing worse happened to you. You really don't want to have periods where you can't remember what was going on. If you are so out of it, you are not able to protect yourself - really, something absolutely terrible could happen to you. As it was , you were covered in bruises. You are just lucky you aren't pregnant. Please make this the last time anything like that happens, because nobody will be able to help you if something bad happens to you because you do this again.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (20 October 2009):
Jeez, Accountable is so right, what a way to throw your boyfriend under the bus by not disclosing what really happened. Have you ever heard the saying, "Never cry wolf?"
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A
female
reader, Accountable + ♥, writes (20 October 2009):
Wow, way to unfairly paint your boyfriend as a rapist.
For future reference, getting yourself "messed up" on pills is plain idiotic, and it would be your fault as much as his if you WERE pregnant.
Hopefully you'll have learned from this scare and won't put yourself in a similar situation again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell honestly we was both messed up on pills. so yeah. we talked about it we dont remember what we did. neither of us do. so im guessing we did stuff? but done took a test im not pregnant. and No i havent.
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A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (18 October 2009):
 Okay, I remember you coming here not too long ago and asking this exact same question.
Here's the deal. If he raped you that night and if you were pregnant, you would know by now. That was a few months ago, the last time you came here.
We already told you that he would only make comments like that if he actually raped you. We advised you to go see a doctor.
If you have done none of these things, we cannot help you. You came here for advise last time, Did not Not Take it?!
We can't make you go to the doctor. You have to do that for yourself.
Please stop asking the same questions. We're going to give you the same advice over and over again.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (18 October 2009):
He sounds an absolute idiot (sorry). If you had bruises all over, he must have done something . I'm not being funny, but this all seems a bit strange. What, you go over there, have a normal evening, lie next to him nicely, don't have sex, go quietly to sleep ... wake up normally, but just covered in bruises?? doesn't make sense.
Either, you maybe had drunk something and so didn't notice what happened in the night (although you'd have had to have drunk a lot!). Or, he drugged you (in which case you'd have felt strange in the morning.) Or ... there's something you aren't telling us. Do you see what I mean? He couldn't have inflicted bruises on you without you waking up unless you were out of it in some way.
So what happened?
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (18 October 2009):
The implications of his comments and what they suggest is extremely disturbing- leads me to believe you were probably drugged and raped. Most people wake up if someone forces sex while asleep. Your boyfriend is one sick puppy for even putting you through this, regardless of what actually transpired.
Please tell your parents- you need an examination by a doctor who will give you blood tests, a pap smear, and a thorough examination. His parents also need to be informed- he's a potential risk to society or needs some serious therapy. He's either a rapist or a sadist.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy + ♥, writes (18 October 2009):
You do need to get checked by a doctor in case of STD's. What if he did have sex with you without you knowing?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe's also made comments like i don't need a kid now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe problem is i took a pregnancy test it came out negative. so what now? i can't go to the doctor my mom would kill me if she even thought something like this from him. should i let it go since i have no proof. i didn't wake bruises are gone and I'm not pregnant. so i guess so...?
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A
female
reader, Accountable + ♥, writes (18 October 2009):
Honestly I wouldn't jump to any conclusions about him having done something to you in the night, because this is a fairly damning and offensive accusation - its doubtful that you wouldnt have woken up halfway through for one thing, epecially if you had bruises in the morning. Anything so violent would almost certainly have jolted you awake. Its entirely possible that this is some weird joke your ex has, and he isnt aware that you're made uncomfortable by it.
That being said, as the other aunts have suggested it is probably worth going to the doctor and getting checked out, for your own peace of mind more than anything. Hope everything is alright, I'm sure it will be :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy + ♥, writes (18 October 2009):
I think you need to see a doctor and get yourself tested to see if you are actually still a virgin. You woke up and had bruises and felt funny down there,and he's constantly asking whether you're pregnant or not, which could indicate that he had sex with you without you knowing during the night. DO NOT ask him about it OR do anything until you have been do a doctor and been tested. Hope you're okay.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): I don't want to accuse him of anything but maybe he done things to you when you was asleep? after all you say you done nothing yet you woke up feeling funny 'down there' and he keeps asking if you're pregnant. I'm pretty sure after 12 weeks you would start to know if you were pregnant, if you need any other advice i would recommend you see your GP and ASK for a pregnancy test. all the best chick
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