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Why does my co-worker act this way towards me?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 December 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 January 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *pendy writes:

Why does this girl behaves this way? am I overreacting? ?

There's this work I met at a job interview, I got the job and so did she.

We all work in the same department. The thing is she's so unfriendly, I never see her smile. The only time she smiles is when she talking to guys at work.

She doesn't speak to me, I tried to talk to her but she never smiles am so bubbly and cheerful and very friendly and talks to everyone but she's completely opposite.

Is like she's got something against me. She looks at me the corner of her eye and when I go close to her she'll move to the other side.

What is wrong with this girl? Why do I feel like she's got something against me?

Am not paranoid.

View related questions: at work, co-worker

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A female reader, bearN India +, writes (1 January 2012):

bearN agony auntThe fact she sees you from the corner of her eyes and moves away each time you come closer. Thats sounds so weird. It surely means she doesnt know how to behave well in the office. And try to distract your mind in the office environment. I would really not bother much. If i were in your place , i would just smile and wish her on the start of the day and get back to working. let her come to you. I am sure she will someday. Just have patience. Just be yourself. And finally when she feels comfortable with you. You could ask the same question to her. :)

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A female reader, Sugarbuns Australia +, writes (31 December 2011):

Sugarbuns agony auntShe obviously doesn't like you and I cannot tell you why. Maybe you remind her of someone she once dated that hurt her. Maybe she thinks you're just a happy geek she can't relate to. I have no idea, but I do wonder why you are trying to hard to get in when obviously the door is closed. I do not think she is your type and you are certainly not hers. So let it go. There must be other people you can make friends with. She's got a dark side. She's mysterious and aloof. I suspect that's why you're attracted to her. But I think you're wasting your time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2011):

She may feel jealous of you, if you have both started at the same time she might feel she has to compete with you.

I wouldn't worry yourself about her, your colleagues will see through her fairly quickly just carry on being yourself and ignore her snubs.

I experienced snobbery within an office environment and soon learnt that ignoring them was the best way, they also couldn't stand me being nice to them as it is not the result they want. People like her want to try and bring you down to their level but the saying "kill them with kindness" is one to remember for the catty office ladies!

Good luck x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2011):

First, choose not to care about someone who doesn't seem to like you. We can't have or make EVERYONE like us.

If you are a people pleaser and take offence by such people; its not them, its you and your NEED to want to be liked which is rooted in insecurity.

Why do you want or have to have this person like you? Why do you care so much?

I say you don't have to be friendly towards her or win her over. She sounds shallow and threatened by other females. That is her issue/insecurity.

Besides, you do your job to the best of your ability, and are personable with others- work is a good place. Don't let one sour person ruin what is good.

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