A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I'm in a bit of a pickle. Basically, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend about a month ago and it didn't really hurt much, just a little if he went too deep. But since then it hasn't hurt me at all and (sorry to be graphic) I was showing him that I enjoyed deeper penetration because it was good and he tends to take initiative if I show him what I like. But then the last couple of times we had sex it hurt again. It was ok until he was a bit rough and it hurt like the first time. But I didn't say anything because he seemed to be really enjoying it and he was probably only doing it because he thinks I like it. Also, he was a bit carried away so I don't think he would have noticed even if I did tell him. Thing is, when I encouraged it, it was a bit slower and more intense and intimate (and also from a different angle). This time it was missionary but more forceful. I tried switching to be on top but it still hurt a bit. It seems like its ok but then once he has been going that deep its hard to get back to a way that doesnt hurt. Sorry if this has been a bit too personal but I just wanted some advice and I'm too embarrassed to ask my friend. What I'm asking is why deeper penetration would hurt now if it didn't hurt before? Maybe because hes being rough? And also, how can I tell him without it being embarrassing? We have very good communication in every aspect of our relationship, I just don't want to say anything until I know exactly whats going wrong and I don't want to hurt his ego if he thought he was pleasing me and I didn't tell him. (I would be so embarrassed if it was me, thinking I was doing well and he was just lying there thinking 'get me outta here!') Also, while I'm here, is there something wrong if he keeps 'falling out' during sex? Hes definately not small in that area so does it mean there is something wrong with me 'down there'?? Thanks for reading this, sorry its so long. I would be very greatful if anyone can give me some advice!! xxx
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male
reader, Collaroy  + ♥, writes (30 March 2008):
 Hi,
I was going to suggest that maybe he is a little big for you, but if you said he keeps falling out then that sounds unlikely as it would be a tight fit not falling out .
So my only question is how much lube are you using. As a woman's vagina can vary immensely in how lubricated it is. My wife and I rarely use lubrication as she gets plenty wet but it has happened that we do need to use it as she on very rare occasions is too tight, so this may just be the case for you guys. If it feels too dry or tight then get out the lube, if he is sliding in easily in you and it still hurts - go see a doctor.
Good luck
A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (30 March 2008):
 Hey try to relax and stuff, you couldalso try forepay and lube =] x
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A
female
reader, rhythmandblues2  + ♥, writes (30 March 2008):
 http://www.tiscali.co.uk/lifestyle/healthfitness/health_advice/netdoctor/archive/000289.html
Here is an article on this topic from doctors.....hope it helps
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A
female
reader, rhythmandblues2 + ♥, writes (30 March 2008):
You may want to tell your doctor if the pain gets worse or continues, sometimes this is caused by endometriosis, a thickening of the uterine wall, or cysts on the ovaries, but I think it is just a matter of positioning and thrusting too hard and too deep in your case, and possibly tightened vagina or vaginismus due to fear....so just try and relax.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you! Yes, I am on the pill. xx
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A
female
reader, rhythmandblues2 + ♥, writes (30 March 2008):
First off you need to relax, secondly you need to stop worrying about hurting your boyfriend's ego and tell him to stop if he is hurting you...sometimes deep penetration hurts if it is too deep, he is hitting your cervix or even an ovary and that is painful! So you need to tell him to slow down or stop thrusting so hard if it is hurting you.
You need to communicate....and you on top is a position where you can control how deep the penetration goes, if you are feeling a little bit of pain.
As far as him falling out, that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, it happens, you guys get out of position, he takes the wrong angle, etc....it is no big deal, just start again....Try not to be so much in your head and worrying about all of this, I am sure you are doing just fine, sex is about connection and pleasure and feeling close and you just need to let it happen and go with it, but stop if anything gets too rough or hurts.
I hope you are using protection and are on the birth control pill to protect you from STD's and unwanted pregnancy.
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