New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Why does it have to be so damm hard to figure out what women want in order to have a lot of sex?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 February 2008) 11 Answers - (Newest, 28 February 2008)
A male United States age , *ildman writes:

Why does it have to be so damm hard to figure out what women want in order to have a lot of sex? Do most women want a lot of sex or is it only men? Why do you have to spend 10 times more time figuring out the issues rather than having wild sex? No wonder men look at porn, they have to give up after a while. Then you get beat up for that too. Are there any wild women out there???

View related questions: porn

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008):

LOL, eyeswideopen your halarious!

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (28 February 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntYou could try looking in the mountains of Montana or maybe the outback in Australia. Wild women can be so very hard to find.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008):

Different women are very different from each other. One woman will be different from one week to the next. They will also be very different throughout their lives. Men are the same. They don’t just want sex all the time, but you are asking about women. What a woman wants depends on her state of mind. For instance, a woman who has just ended a marriage where her husband told her that she was not good at anything and cheated on her might just want to go out and have sex with anyone who seems nice to build her self esteem. She may or may not like the sex, but the fact that she is getting it will prove that her verbally abusive husband was wrong about her not being attractive or desirable. I have seen that both first and second hand. Eventually she will feel good about herself and then will fall for a guy who cares more about making her happy in bed then he cares about his own orgasm.

If a man is good to a woman then most women will want sex with him. He doesn’t necessarily have to complement her all the time. He just has to show that she means something to him. If the guy is just himself and treats her well, she will want sex with him. If he says the wrong thing, even if he thinks that he is joking, then she will be turned off to sex with him. I have made that mistake with my wife enough times. If it is a real relationship then there will be ups and downs depending on how she feels about him at the time. I think that men and women both enjoy sex the same and want it the same amount on average. However, most couples are different in their sex desires. I have read complaints by both men and women on various boards where they complain that their partner doesn’t like sex as often as they do. For instance, I used to want sex 3 or 4 times a day when in my 30s, while my girlfriend didn’t want it more than twice, evening and morning. She told me that other boyfriends just wanted it at night and that was it. Another woman seemed happy to have sex 3 times in the morning before we got out of bed. I was reading a post on healthboards where a young woman was asking for advice because her boyfriend only wanted sex 2 or 3 times a day and she didn’t think that was enough. Other people complain that their partners only want sex 3 or 4 times a month. This is true for people in their 20s and 50s and everything in between.

Getting love with the sex is very important to most women and a lot of men, maybe most. By love, I mean telling them how much you enjoy being with them. Kissing, snuggling, foreplay – all before you start to plug it in. Just kiss her in the middle of the afternoon, without any thought of dragging her into bed. There was a time in my marriage where I did not do enough of that and sex was anywhere from 3 or 4 times a month to 3 or 4 times a week. When I did all the right things, sex was often 8 to 10 times a week.

I have found that if I care more about the woman being satisfied in bed more that I care about my satisfaction that both me and my wife are happier. I am happy because she loves what I do for her and shows it and it is obvious why she is happy. When I am good to her and want sex if she has a headache or is not in the mood then she will tell me to forget the oral foreplay, get some lube on her and enjoy myself. During the years when I was not as considerate, it would be “I don’t feel like it.” How you make her feel makes a very big difference.

When I started dating after my divorce nearly 30 years ago, I did not try to get a woman into bed on the first date and I took it very slow on the second date, sometimes too slow, as one woman told me to just come into the bedroom. They later told me that wanted to have sex with me on the first date, but that they appreciated it that I didn’t just take it for granted that they owed it to me. Another woman, just separated from her husband, pretty much dragged me into the bedroom on our first date.

I am now over 60 years old and have made a lot of mistakes with my relationships with various women. This long rambling is just what I have learned from my mistakes and my accomplishments. I have done things very right and I have done things very wrong and everything in between. My failed marriage was because I did many things very wrong and few right. My successful marriage is because I did many things very right and none very wrong and only a few wrong.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, chlez83 Zambia +, writes (28 February 2008):

At your age you should be giving answers to the same questions you are asking.Someone mentioned that "If you want more sex , give them more love".The only problem with this is men and women understand love in two very different ways.For women,love may and mostly includes money.If you treat her like a queen she'll think you weak and consider you nothing more than a friend.Treat them mean and you'll have more sex than you can handle.I'll tell you why ladies love bad guys/jerks.

Take care.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2008):

love-him agony auntHEY!!

You have to treat them right, you need to show your love to them, not just want sex!! All women are different, high an low sex drives!!

GOOD LUCK and dont treat women like rubbish!! if you want sex, show them tender love and care!! :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, hello1 United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2008):

hello1 agony auntMaybe they just don't want sex with you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008):

women like sex to hun oh yea we do, I belive that women like sex just as much and this love thing that keeps coming up is fine but men and women like to feel loved...

WOMEN LOVE SEX!!!!!!! NOT JUST GIVE ME THE HUNNY AND ILL GIVE YOU SEX SHIT!!!! My fella gets jumped on on a regular basis cause I love sex and I know other women who love sex to!!!!!!!!!Just as I no women who dont give a flying f**k if the loo seat isnt put down so do you pop it up for your man so its easier for him to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!oh dear Im a tom boy kinda girl as long as the loo is cleaned I could care less if the seat is up down sideways or fallen off!!!! whoooo! lost myself then for awhile!!:) but there are more important things in life message me hunny XXXXXXX

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008):

Hi Mate

Not all women are the same love, I have a high sex drive and it only hit when I hit my 40s YIPPEE!!!!!!! Sweatheart calm your mind I no its blooby frustrating..Frank has some good points and his books are interesting, He kinda knows the opposite sex quite well, Hunny why are you so angry today something is really getting to you, I no you have done amazing things to improve your life so HUGE BLOODY PATS ON THE BACK HUN!!!!Dont feel let down remember your cup is always half full!!!!! message me love and we can go through this problem and get you back on track, Dont give up hun pllllllease LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (28 February 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntWomen want love , men want sex. God made them that way.

If you want more sex , give them more love.

No love , no honey!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Frank B Kermit Canada +, writes (28 February 2008):

Frank B Kermit agony auntYou sound very frustrated and angry. Yes, women enjoy sex just as much, if not more, than men. However, the question is do you know how to be the kind of man that women feel SAFE having that kind of sex with?

I spent the last ten years working on myself, and exploring exactly this topic. What makes the same woman have a one night stand with one man, and makes another man practically beg for sex. I found my answer. I wrote about it in my books, specifically, my book Everything Out of Her Mouth is A Test: A Man's Guide to the Emotional Needs of Women.

Read my profile, and that should give you an indication about how I went from exactly were you are, to getting to exactly where I am now, and having the time of my life.

-Frank B Kermit, seduction and relationship guru

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008):

It is the quality of the relationship with the man that determines the quality of the sex for most women but it seems that is not what you wanted to hear..

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Why does it have to be so damm hard to figure out what women want in order to have a lot of sex?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312639000039781!