A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok so i kinda have a friend (lets call him A) that occasionally i make out with, its not a big deal but sometimes we plan it in advance if one of our parents are going to be away. Previously hes asked me where i stand with us and if hooking up is all i want. At that point i told him straight that it was and that i definitely didnt want a relationship with him. Recently at a party we kissed in front of all our friends but I stopped it there and when he got annoyed that I was "teasing him" (i was kinda grinding into him a bit) I got angry and hooked up with someone else, lets call him B. I should mention that util this point I hadn't hooked up with anyone else since I started hooking up with guy A and I dont think he has either, although he always teases me about a third guy C who he knows likes me and apparently I lead on. The next day A had convinced himself that I had slept with B and despite me telling him repeatly that I didn't and even if i did it wasn't his business as I had no plans to date guy B and therefore our hooking up situation would not be compromised and I didnt have sex with guy B so no chance of STDs or anything. Also he somehow thinks that I got with guy B to make him jealous which is ridiculous because I was the one who turned HIM down. Also side note guy C is not talking to me (which is awkward because me and all three guys share a friendship group)Anyway the main point of the question is that I had a free house yesterday and he told me he couldnt make it which is fair enough but when i texted him "you still want to in general though right?" he replied that I was getting clingy and that it was a clingy question (despite having asked me that exact question many times when i've been annoyed at him) and eventually after i said "I'm just asking if we're still "friends", explain how thats clingy?" he finally replies like half an hour later "we're still friends"wtf has he changed his mind because he thinks I'm a slut or something? and why does he think im being clingy, if anything ive been the opposite of clingy?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (20 March 2015):
 I think he had his feelings hurt because you shot him down. You treat him like he is a "dick on call" or "booty call" no more and I don't think he actually likes that.
You didn't mess with guy B to make him jealous, you messed with him to SHOVE it in his face that you can do what you want.
So if guy A actually WANTS a GF, maybe you need to leave him be.
And I don't know if he thinks you are a slut, and I don't think it matters what he thinks, I mean IF THAT is how he sees you why continue to hook up with him? Oh and the whole "clingy thing" - well, it was the BEST insult he could throw at you. No girl want to be called clingy.
I think you like attention from guys, but aren't ready to settle for just one guy. And that is fine, you ARE single.
Guy C is staying out of this because he likes you but don't want to be played with.
I think this is a case of WHOPPING double standards. IF you were a guy acting the way you do, no one would have a problem.
One thing I will say is this, don't crap where you eat. Which usually pertain to people NOT dating at heir work place, but in YOUR case, you need to stop messing around with the males in your circle of friends or you will end up being frozen out by the others at some point. Male friends are NOT just guinea pigs for you to practice you prowess on.
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