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Why does he REALLY want to keep in touch? Could it be strictly for career reasons?

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Question - (24 July 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 February 2011)
A female age , anonymous writes:

A few of you may be familiar with my story about a mutual crush I have on my now ex boss. I

I have now left. I saw him last week just to finalise a bit of unfinished business. Our previous meeting was after work. He asked me to meet him at 6.15. All the office staff had gone and we were more relaxed. He really looked at me and kept smiling. He is so charming but remains very professional and does not make himself obvious.

I saw himn a couple of days ago and we talked about all sorts of things. I disturbed him a little about some unprofessional practices at work. I could tell he was really angry. I have been hurt a lot from the staff through bullying and I feel he is trying to do something about it but trying to protect himself at the same time. I have left but I have not yet a job to go to and I told him that I have been applying for jobs lower to the one I have been doing and not getting shortlisted. I could tell he was rather shocked by this.

As I was about to leave I noticed how he looked at my legs as I had a summer dress on. I had mentioned to him sometime ago about the possibility of him mentoring me. He said he will look into it. I sent him the details. As I was leaving I said, you've got my e-mail address and he nodded. At that point he mentioned the fact that he may take up the montoring training. I am wondering if that was his indication saying that he wants to keep in touch.

I have an interview for a major airline shortly as cabin crew and may come out of teaching so I wonder how he will see me then.

If you have any words of advice, please pass them on. This situation is serviously bugging me as we are both holding back. We both have children and ties. I personally am not happy in my relationship and have been hanging on for the sake of it.

View related questions: at work, crush

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for replying to my posting last year. Just an update - I can understand your "shock" at an attraction between two people in other relationships.

Months later the attraction still exists. We are both trying to come out of our "dead" relationships and the feelings between us are immense and we have not become physical yet.

It just goes to show that there are occasions where two people are meant to be together. I do not make it a habit going out with married men (i have no time) and he does not flirt with women for the fun of it.Something sparked this one and we are destined to be together. We are just waiting for the right time.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (24 July 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntI didn't read anything in your description of his behavior toward you to suggest that you have a budding romance going on. It sounds perfectly mundane, actually. You are more than likely reading way more into this than actually exists.

I think you need to focus on your current relationship. Fix it or end it. Make a commitment to being married or become officially single. Then you can date all the available men you'd like. Your current coping strategies sound like something out of high school, sorry. "Can't break up with the current guy until the next boyfriend is lined up!" Sort of teen insecurity, you know?

Be brave and deal with it. That's my advice, and I wish you good luck.

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A female reader, romany United Kingdom +, writes (24 July 2010):

romany agony auntYou are obsessed with this man, you are writing in all the time, and as much as we say, he's married, and your in a common law marriage, you are still trying to justify your feelings.

I've lost count of the amount of times, i've told you, let alone all the other aunts who have told you time and time again, if you not happy in your relationship, get out of it, dont only leave when you have a stepping stone to another bloke.

HE IS MARRIED!!!!! yes he may like legs, yes he may like breasts, as you've mentioned previously he has stared at those too, and yes he has offered to mentor you, it means nothing more than that, because despite him looking, (and he is married not dead) and being a good kind caring person who helped you with applications, and is prepared to mentor you, because he is after all, in that business, doesn't mean he is wanting anything else from you, I have read most of your questions, and you are taking the most innocent of comments and turning them into something that they are not, Not one has sounded like a come on.

You are trying with all your might to get him, and seem to have little respect for yourself, nor for his wife and his family.

Please forget about this man, get on with your life, either make it work with your significant other or get out, You are being so incredibly selfish towards the others involved in this fantasy, its really quite sickening.

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