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Why does he only stay hard in certain acts?

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 March 2018) 3 Answers - (Newest, 11 March 2018)
A female United States age 41-50, *essjess2077 writes:

Why does my boyfriend only stay hard if I give him a blow job or give him a hand job??

View related questions: blow-job, hand-job

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A male reader, liddel United States +, writes (11 March 2018):

I assume you imply that his dick doesn't stay hard when you have intercourse.

Please ignore the advice that postulates something is wrong with your lady parts. It's pure BS.

Alcohol, tobacco and drugs, both prescribed and illegal, can affect hardness. Tiredness can too. Getting a blowjob or a hand job requires very little energy on the part of the recipient. If he has any physical ailments, or is out of shape, that may come into play. Having a woman kneeling and sucking him can make him feel dominant. It's the sexual equivalent of the beautiful slave girl feeding the master grapes. He is doing nothing but being pleased by you.

The biggest sex organ is the brain. Try some sex talk during intercourse. "Oh baby, your —- makes my /-/ feel so good", or "Your big —- makes me feel so full", or "I've been waiting all day for you to f*** me." Experiment until you find things that work.

Again, ignore the advice that blames your vagina for the problem. If he's turned on, and verbal enticements can help, he will stay hard. Additionally, if he knows you're enjoying him being in you, and telling him really lets him know that, that's a turn on too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2018):

Actually I'm calling bs . I'm in my late 40 have had several children and everything's gotten tighter for me. My friend who's around the same age has had a similar experience. My dr told me this is extremely common . I have no issues with lubrication but things need a little more relaxation. And work now so I think this is more the case of the guys just wanking to much and getting used to his hand

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (4 March 2018):

Honeypie agony auntBecause both feels tighter. There is more friction.

He might have been used to masturbating by hand a lot and with a very tight grip which means your vagina doesn't feel that tight and he can't stay hard. (not!!! that there is anything "wrong" with your vagina but hitting your 40's the elasticity and muscles does become a tad weaker - even if you are VERY into Kegels).

So basically he has conditioned himself into needing a strong grip in order to stay hand and climax.

Is this a new relationship? Or something new on his end?

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