A
female
age
22-25,
*lliematthews33
writes:I've been on and off with a guy I've liked for 2 years. But we haven't had sex. I have tried everything with this guy because I really am unsure of his intentions as he has told me he likes me but nothing's changed. He doesn't meet me when he is supposed to and if we're having a conversation for longer than a day he will ignore me. I feel so confused because just recently he said he does want me in his life but I haven't spoke to him since, he knows how much I care about him. I've tried to block him but I always add him back. I asked him to block me and he said he won't do that. He only really tries when I'm in a relationship with someone else. I've even offered FWB and that didn't happen. Can you tell me what he wants with me? and how can I move on from this guy? I've honestly tried everything.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 December 2016):
 Sweetie he is entertaining himself from your benefit. He has no interest in being with you. He is toying with your feelings and enjoying the attention that you give him. He loves the fact that some girl can't get enough off him and even offers him sex on a plate just for some attention.
Sweetie don't cut yourself short. You don't want him using you for sex. You don't want him interfering with your life if you meet someone who is good to you. He gives you false hope when you are in a relationship because he is the sort off person that wants your attention for himself. Change your number and don't look back.
A
female
reader, dimplez77  +, writes (20 December 2016):
I've been in your shoes before I was with a guy unofficially for over 2 years and looking back I wish someone would have told me that he was just using me as a stand in until something better comes along. He will tell you what you want to hear without actually committing to anything. There's million excuses he will give you from the "I like how we are now and don't want to ruin it" or "I don't like labels" or "I'm not ready for anything serious"... the list goes on. Someone once said that you should take a shit or get off the pot. I know it sounds crude but you may be denying yourself the opportunity to find someone who wouldn't want a day to go by without you and. Good luck sweetheart
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2016): Ive been in your shoes . A guy would tell me the same lines and only when someone else was interested in me would he start saying he wanted to be more than friends , he kept cancelling dates and made up lame excuses i had enough i ditched him gave him a few choice words blocked him . i moved on and now im seeing a great guy who treated me right from day 1 . In the back of your mind you hope he will finally change but see he doesnt hell do the same thing again but in a different way make you think things have changed but they havent , its all still the same . He wants you but doesnt want the reality of being with you and he also doesnt want others interested in you because it upsets his 'control' from afar . You are wasting your time with him as he is wasting your time when you could be happy with someone who treats you right . Ditch him , block him , delete his number , you will feel down at the start because you had hopes that never came true and your hurt but believe me things will and do get better . If i had stuck about waiting for the guy who did the same to me id still be lonely and would have missed out on so much . Find other things to do , hang out with friends more , make new friends , organise nights out with friends and get them to invite their other friends out so you get to meet more new people. your still very young and have a lot of life to live . dont be hung up on this guy or you will feel down and lonely . dont waste another second on him .
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (19 December 2016):
 Blimey, how long are you going to wait for something to change? Why are you so hooked up on this man who toys with you and gives you nothing real?
Are you sure this man does not have a partner already and is not just keeping you as a Plan B in case the relationship goes wrong?
Do yourself a favour. Shake yourself down, give yourself a hefty dose of self respect and walk away with your head held high. And cut him lose. He is never going to be yours.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2016): Sweetie, it sounds like you're chasing a gay man. There could be no reason a guy would keep stringing you along for two years except to use you as his beard.
The only other reason is you're absolutely not his type, but you like him so much you'll do anything for him. So he'll use you, allow you to stroke his ego, but he refuses to reciprocate any romantic feelings.
Honey, take if from a gay man; he is not exhibiting any behavior that I can determine he is into you. You said you've tried everything. Which means you've even attempted to seduce him, and anything short of throwing yourself at him. If he totally won't go for sex with no strings attached; you're offering the wrong equipment.
Sweetheart, stop!!! Just totally write him off and get on with your life.
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A
female
reader, Eagle'sfan1986  +, writes (19 December 2016):
If he says he likes you and wants you 8n his life and playing mind games with you then that isn't the guy you should be with you especially if he is ignoring you when you are having long conversations with him or he doesn't meet up with you too. Honey I hate to say it but he is acting like a complete asshOle towards you and your feelings. I will keep him black and not socialize with him at all. There are plenty of guys who will jump at the chance to talk to u.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 December 2016):
 I agree with N91,
This has been going on for 2 years and hasn't progressed.
This is utterly one-sided. You really don't get much out of this, you get crumbs while giving him whole "loaves" of attention and affection.
He KNOWS you like him and HE likes the attention you are willing to give him, the ego rubs (This girl is SO into me, I don't even have to work for it, no matter HOW I treat her she sticks with me like VELCRO) - but he DOESN'T like you, in the same way, YOU like him.
You don't think he has been with other girls in those 2 years? My guess he has, you are the rebound chick. The one he goes back to when he wants attention from a girl WITHOUT having to PUT any real EFFORT into it.
HE doesn't CARE deeply for you. THAT is why he doesn't want to block you for YOUR sake, he wants to keep you around because he is selfish.
So for once.... PUT yourself first. BLOCK him and DO NOT unblock him. EVER. Unfriend him, delete etc. CUT him out.
And THEN you take some time to accept that you LET this guy treat you this way and that it's NOT OK for a guy to do this. He isn't a friend, he isn't a guy you are dating. He is JUST another asshat who wants to use you.
IT IS good that you two having had sex. Becuase he would NOT treat you ANY different regardless if you had sex or not.
You know what to do, you have done it before and you CAN do it. BLOCK him.
Find yourself a guy who WANTS to spend time with you IN person. Who wants to invest as much time, emotions and effort into YOU as you invest in them.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (19 December 2016):
 It's been two years, and this guy has continuously shown you that he's just not into you. The only time he seems to show you any attention is if you finally get with someone else - why? Because he likes the ego strokes you give him, not because he actually likes YOU. This isn't real jealousy, or he'd work to keep you. This is just him having nothing else better to do, and enjoying a casual chase. It gives him something to do with him day. Girl, you are worth so much more than that.
It bums me out that you have gone so far as to offer him FWB. It doesn't bum me out because he said no (frankly, I'm relieved at that part), but because you are so desperate for this guy to show you interest, you've resorted to offering him your body in exchange for his fleeting attention.
It sounds like what he actually wants from you, at best, is for you to be waiting at the sidelines, offering your puppy-dog eyes whenever he needs a pick me up. But he doesn't actually want any form of relationship with you.
I don't know that you've tried hard enough to get over this guy. You need to find some serious inner strength. Block him on everything and just DON'T ADD HIM AGAIN. When you feel that urge, you need to find something else to do. Quick, go watch an episode of Xena to remind yourself that you don't need no man. Or, call a friend. Take a walk. At least put it off until tomorrow. And do that the next day, and the next day and the day after that.
You need to treat this like a breakup. Getting over someone takes one thing. Time. You can't fight that. It just takes time. But, unlike most other things, a good breakup requires plenty of distraction. Avoid the moping and the dwelling and the gazing at pictures and all of that. DISTRACT YOURSELF. As much as you can.
This guy has not earned your energy even a tiny bit. What has he done? Nothing. you deserve to be chased for awhile. You deserve a million times more than what you're getting. This man is not properly reflecting your value in this world.
Buck up. Maybe talk to a counselor to keep you on the right track. You can do this. You need to do this. For yourself. You are worth much more than this.
Good luck, sweet.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (19 December 2016):
 It's not what you want to hear but let's be realistic. You've been speaking for 2 years and nothing has ever developed. Does that sound like he wants you?
He's very clearly messing you around, he has no intentions of advancing things or do you not think he would of by now? Heck, even as a guy I couldn't tell you what his motives are as it's clearly not sex either by the looks of things. Maybe he just sees you as a friend and nothing more.
I'd also strongly advise against a FWB also as that's clearly not what you want from this guy, you want a relationship and I guarantee if you have casual sex with this guy whilst he's doing his own thing you'll end up heartbroken.
Like you said, you've tried everything now. So stop. Nothing is happening.
Block him and stop re-adding hin.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (19 December 2016):
 You haven't tried willpower and discipline.
You don't *want* a FWB, so don't offer one.
He won't block you because he *loves* watching you beg for his attention, knowing you won't keep him blocked.
You're clinging on with all you have, but he's giving nothing back. Block him the second you read this and stay off of social media for a week. Then don't look in your block folder - it's all hidden away, so you have to actually look for it.... just don't. When you find yourself pressing the buttons, stop.
You'll get over him when you cut him out of your life and stick to it.
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