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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Why is he treating me like this? My ex hates me. We have three young children together who he sees every fortnight. He has asked to see them every weekend but I said no as my he had this option in the past and decided that it was too much for him as he 'did not have a social life' (his words not mine) and couldnt spend any time with his girlfriend (who was the mistress whilst we were together). This ripped me apart as he didnt seem interested in them as he was whilst in the relationship together. The children were all really young at this time all under four. we have been broken up for a year. Now that they are a little older he has changed his mind about seeing them less and now wants them every weekend. He will not coompromise and does not want to see them during the week as he says it is difficult for him as he works 9 -6pm. This has created many argument but the children and I are comfortable with the present arrangement as we get to do fun things on our weekend together.He keeps putting my parenting skills down when we do speak which is not very often, he looks at me with hate in his eyes, slags me off behind my back, always is rude to, called me a 'broke ass' as I couldnt afford petrol. Said that I am a bad parent as I hadnt cut my children's nails once when he had them. Never says please or thankyou to me, ignores me when he picks up the kids. No matter how nice I try to be to difuse the animosity it just doent work.I cant bare it and dont understand his behaviour. He cheated on me and left me for her. I dont want to see him but bite my lips for the sake of the children but don't know how much more I can take. Whenever he doesnot get whatever he wants when he wants it it becomes a battle field. I dont know what to do. We have minimal contact but he still gets to me during the contact that we do have.Just wondered why he acts like this to me, I have three of his kids, two born by c section he was my first love and me his. We were together for 10 years although we struggled with money as he didnt work. Now that he chose the mistress over me. He acts like im scum and speaks so highly of her. They brought there first house together and drive nice cars and he seems alot succesful now. I am happy for him but would feel alot better if he treated me right. Please dont tell me to just focus on the kids as that is what I am doing. I gave up work to be a full time mum to them and my life is purely about them. I dont go out much, don't really want to anymore and I have so much fun with them. The have a phone with his number in so call him whenever they want. I just dont understand why he degrades me so much when he once loved me and we share so many fond memories.Please help me understand his behaviour.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI try to ignore it but think im about to explode. Most of the responses I get are dont stop him from seeing the kids as we made them together and its his right blah blah blah. This is the advice I tend to stick with but dont see why I should suffer for it. It feels like a life sentence just because I chose to have children with him. However, I didnt know he'd would change so much and never asked him to cheat.
Now that I have put my foot down with sticking to the contact arrangement, he tells people that I am stopping him from seeing his kids which is just not true. He is basically throwing his toys out of him pram because he is not getting his own way.
Thank you all for the advice, I will take it all on board. I need to stand up for my self but just feel like it will cause to much problems. I will call the solicitors on Monday or in the new year to see if they can advise me further. I feel trapped, confused and hurt!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): What an ass. If he is being that horrible to you, while you are doing nothing, I would say just get a restraining order.
My mom did that following her divorce because my dad was threatening her life. It was better in the long run. Gave him time to cool down.
Seriously though, do you really want your children around someone as hateful as him? He is a very bad influence - never mind the mistress.
I wish you the best. Please do not allow this scumbag to treat you this way without putting up a fight.
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female
reader, Ellzy  +, writes (27 December 2008):
why do you care what he thinks
if he hates you then hes obviously not worth the time in the world!
dont deny him hes kids though..they are his too.. just leave him be.. when he comes round to see the kids.. act asif you're not even bothered in the slightest.. act normal... dont seem excited to see him though.. just simple blunt awnsers and questions
k... hope i helped??
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