A
female
age
36-40,
*race84
writes:My friend's husband always asks me about my dating every time I see him and seems quite enthusiastic when he asks. Just before they got married a mutual friend said in front of my friend how her husband wanted to date me before they got together. I was shocked the mutual friend said this as his wife was unaware and seemed insecure after this - I didn't know her husband liked me and he seemed embarrassed and was playing it down. I did like him when we were both single but nothing ever happened. I catch him looking at me when we all go out. I would never go after a married man but wonder why he keeps showing an interest in my dating.
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friend's husband, insecure, married man Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (31 December 2016):
 Honestly I think he knows you have a crush on him and he is just trying to turn your focus to other men. I think you are holding on to what this mutual friend said because you used to have a crush on him as well. If he liked you in that way then surely he would have at least asked you out on a date when he was single? He married his wife for a reason and I think you need to let this go.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2016): He might actually suspect that you have a crush on him, so is eager to turn the focus to *Single* men you might be interested in. That's what I suspect, since a lot of married men kind of do that, to say oh nudge nudge wink wink who do you like these days? It will be a sigh of relief for him when he hears you are taken, and then you can go on double dates with him and his wife, and do couple-y things. I don't think that means he likes you at all. The staring at you part however may indicate otherwise. I just wouldn't jump to conclusions too much. I think it's likelier that he is trying to make his wife feel more comfortable by having you talk about the guys you like *and not your past flirtation with him*, and making you feel less like a third wheel.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 December 2016):
 I agree with Youcannotbeserious,
Why he is asking is irrelevant. It's really none of his business. If he had REALLY been so keen on asking you out in the past, don't you think he would have done so? Instead, he dated the woman who ended up being his wife, YOUR friend.
Now he might be asking because it's a way to have something to say - to start a conversation.
I'd just tell him you don't kiss and tell. Yu really don't owe him a play by play on your dating life.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (22 December 2016):
 Who knows what is going on in his head? What is important is that, as the husband of your friend, you stay polite to him without being over friendly, out of respect to your friend.
In your shoes - and this is just me, so you may choose to handle it differently - I would not enter into long conversations on this subject. Just answer as much as is necessary to be polite (something along the lines of "nothing special in the pipeline at the moment" or "I have met someone new but it's too early to tell how it will go").
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2016): probably because he still has feelings for you and wants to know if are dating. just because he is married doesn't mean a flip just went off and he stopped being human you know? that was not me being smart fyi
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