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Why does he act this way?

Tagged as: Crushes, Flirting<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 January 2019) 10 Answers - (Newest, 29 January 2019)
A female Australia age 22-25, anonymous writes:

There is a guy who I see around my work sometimes and I am attracted to. I have tried hinting at him that I like him, such as telling him he makes me blush and tease him abit. He has given me high-fives, told me

"we need more of you around" but he doesn't tease me back.

The way he acts around me is really weird! One day he is saying hi and how are you to me then the next he try to avoid talking to me (e.g. he has purposely hidden in a room waiting for me to pass) or he walks past me without looking or saying anything and I've noticed today he is kind of jumpy around me? I walked past his station and he looked up to see me and he (literally) jumped in his chair and pretended like he was working on something. Today he told me he was going away for afew months to China to see his family - his never told me about his background before until now. I didn't enquire too much because I thought he might of been too busy to talk and now I'm regretting it but I can ask when he gets back

What do you think? Is this normal? He use to never be so jumpy or scared, use to be so casual

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (29 January 2019):

You're not stupid. Far from it. A stupid person would not seek advice. You were enamored and your crush got the best of you.

That's happened to all of us. Shake it off!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 January 2019):

Honeypie agony auntEh... no need to beat yourself up over some dude.

Just learn from this and let it go.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2019):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks everyone! You're all right; I do feel abit stupid now, luckily though we won't see each other (or cross paths) for another few months so hopefully that will be enough time to let the situation settle.

I feel horrendous because he did take advantage of the fact that I liked him for me to do extra things for him (bringing him things). If I do see him or run into him I'll be casual. But still, damn I do feel so stupid :P Thanks again

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (27 January 2019):

kenny agony auntI agree with the other posts, possible he has got a girlfriend.

I would advise to stop pursuing him and just concentrate on your job. Getting involved with someone that you work with is never really a good idea. Its all ok while things are going well, but when/if things go sour it can become very arkward having to see each other every day.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy + , writes (27 January 2019):

Anonymous 123 agony auntIt's a bad idea to date someone at your place of work and moreover, I don't think he's interested. If he was, you'd know, trust me!

Don't make things so obvious because you might just become the laughing stock and come across as someone who's not serious about their work.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (27 January 2019):

Perhaps he has a girlfriend or fiance. Maybe his parents have pre-arranged a marriage for him in China. If none of this is true, he was obviously not romantically-interested.

You're coming on too strong by constantly pursuing him. If he has to avoid you, that is the case. He doesn't have to tell you his background. It isn't any of your business. He told you just before he is leaving; because he wanted you to know he isn't available. He was aware of your interest. He tried to be nice, but you wouldn't take a hint. He wanted to extinguish your crush; so he can work in peace.

Your workplace is not your dating-pool. You make people uninterested in dating people they work with uncomfortable; and stir-up gossip when you go after your co-workers. You also set yourself up for players; because they know lonely people are often too lazy or insecure to seek dates where it might require them to step outside their comfort-zone. It's easy to fish in a barrel. When you think you can corner your prey.

Your co-workers aren't potential dates all there for the pickings. You have a right to work wherever you wish; without unwanted passes from men you have no interest in dating. Or bothered by lecherous old married-men who make you feel uneasy to be around.

If things go wrong with a co-worker; imagine having to work next to someone day after day who took advantage of you. Some jerk who dumped you, or cheated on you. How would you be able to face them all week without making you want to fight or quit? Do you think it would be easy pretending everything was cool? What if you got played, and the same jerk gets promoted to be your boss?

They could seem nice, until you really get to know them. When you noticed him avoiding you, that should have been enough to let you know he wasn't interested in dating.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2019):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your responses! I'm thinking your right; however its been nearly over 6 months or so since I did try and hint at him and he still behaves abit jumpy (and everything else I said in my post). I haven't tried anything since then because I had assumed that but he still acts that way

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2019):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I had thought of this before; that he has a girlfriend and you are probably right. It's such a shame, he was really cute!

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A female reader, mystiquek Japan + , writes (26 January 2019):

mystiquek agony auntI agree with Honeypie he either has a girlfriend or has found out that you like him and now he's uncomfortable around you.

Its never good to date someone you work with it can just cause way too many problems and some places will even fire you if you date a co-worker.

Your best bet is to just act like he's another employee, don't get too personal and date guys that DON'T work where you do.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 January 2019):

Honeypie agony auntMy guess?

He has a GF and he didn't know until someone pointed it out to him that you FANCY him, so he is trying to not encourage it any more.

Don't go looking for boyfriends at your work place. THAT isn't why you are there. You are there to work.

BE professional.

Look for guy to date OUTSIDE of the work place, OK?

That way YOU don't create drama or awkwardness for others at work.

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