A
female
age
26-29,
sxc367
writes:My boyfriend's ex.....i don't even know how my obsession started, but it is consuming me now and it has to stop. so many thoughts run through my mind and it's making me less productive in my own life. i constantly compare myself to her--her schooling, her job, her friends...everything! i let myself get down and i even wonder why he left her to be with me. he also made the mistake of divulging just a little too much info to me. i mean, i knew the basics; but he told me the little quirks about her. i find myself consciencely trying to mimic her.logically this doesn't make sense because i went to a great school, i have a decent job, and i have great friends and family. i try to remind myself of all the positives in my life, but i still get down on myself. i recently started going to the gym with one of my friends and that has helped subside my issue, but i need more. i'm open to any and all suggestions. PLEASE!!!
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female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help  +, writes (24 September 2007):
 good that you are trying to be postive but do actually believe what you are telling youself its all good that you are saying it but believing it makes it all better. if you believe what you say you, you still wouldn't be comparing yourself to her. i do believe that your boyfrind did tell you too much information about her maybe he still likes her i don't know. but stop comparing. you have a great job and great friends and family who love you for you, you will go insane if you try to make yourself better than her. your boyfriend is with you not her he is with you because you are different and not her you could be better instead of trying to make yourself better than her, believe you are better than her its all in the mind try it. look in the miorror tell yourself you are better than her and believe it and that you have a good life with friends and family, it has worked for me and im really comfortable with myself.
good luck hunny xxxxxxxx
A
male
reader, rcn + ♥, writes (24 September 2007):
 First, is he still with the ex? NO, so why be like her. Why would you want to share the same behaviors someone else does who he chooses not to be with.
Do you understand that he is with you and not with her because you are not her? This will be hard but I want you to try to look at it differently. You are with him because you choose to be with him, he is with you because he chooses to be with you. Your feeling about not being good enough is your personal feeling, not his. You will be much happier if you focus on why you're with him, and he focuses on why he's with you, and you don't try to figure out why he's made his choice to be with you. Isn't it true that when we have those feelings of being low, they are ours, we own our feelings, and all though we have them from time to time they don't at all influence the decision someone else has to be with us? Just because we're feeling low, doesn't mean our partners have to feel the same way we do.
He's with you for you, if he wanted someone like his ex, he's still be with her. Start working a bit on yourself. Your self esteem needs improving. Stop worrying about what others think of you, worry about how you see yourself, and the areas that are low, set up a plan and focus on improving those areas.
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