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Why does he walk out without listen to my explanation?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 August 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2015)
A female Malaysia age 26-29, *iss.R writes:

I always wondering why my boyfriend walk out when we're having an arguement.Most of the time he will leave me when i accidently say something that i shouldnt say it at first but it was only a joke, and also sometimes he leave me when he got jealous. I know he angry or get hurt but when i try to clear or explain the situation he walk out immedietly without knowing that i'm also hurt at that time.

View related questions: jealous, my ex

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (27 August 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntPeople react to stress with EITHER a "fight" reaction, or a "flight" reaction.....

Your B/F, evidently, is programmed to "flight."

If you want to have discussions with him.... then try to avoid saying things that he may interpret as stressful....

You might, also, reveal to him that you know, now, that he is a "flight" person.... and... the next time he pulls that stunt, you will change the locks whilest he is out... and he'll have to find himself someplace else to spend the night...

Good luck...

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A female reader, autumnsand United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2015):

autumnsand agony auntThere could be several reasons why he walks out when you are having an argument. Perhaps he doesn't like that sort of confrontation. Or he may need to get some space to calm down and gather his thoughts.

I think that taking a break during an argument can be a good thing, as it can prevent things from escalating and from things being said that might cause a lot of pain. However, I can also understand how you might find it hurtful when he just leaves without saying anything. You are hurting too and that needs to be acknowledged by him. As much as I think it is okay to take a break from an argument, it is also important to make sure that the issue is resolved at some point, and not just forgotten.

Could you talk to him at a time when you are both feeling calm and relaxed? Perhaps you could ask him why he leaves during an argument, and see what he says. You could then explain that you feel hurt when he just leaves.

Maybe you could come to a compromise. Perhaps you could agree to try and accept his need for space, and he could agree to resume the conversation at a later time.

That way he is still having time to deal with things in his own way, but the issue will still be picked up again at a later time and not just ignored.

I hope things get worked out. Good luck.

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