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Why do you last longer during sex with someone that you love?

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Question - (27 January 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 January 2014)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello cupid

I was wondering why do you last more during sex (no foreplay involved) with someone you love compared to someone you just want to hook up ?

why does it differ when you are the same person ?

Also it differs from partner to partner as well ?

View related questions: foreplay, last longer

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you so much for your answers !

I didn't mean that in love making there's no foreplay but I did not include foreplay in sex (penetration)

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (28 January 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt The excitement of novelty. A new toy to play with. Even if it's a crappy cheap toy which you get fed up with very soon, it's still something NEW.

While when you have sex with someone you love - and KNOW- you pretty much know what to expect, in term of sights, smells, souns, technique. It isn't any less rewarding, fulfilling, enjoyable, in fact it is probably way more so than a hook up. But, it isn't as surprising.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2014):

The anticipation of sleeping with a stranger, the work involved in the lead up and the success of the conquest is all one big foreplay, it's very arousing. When you get them in the room alone, it's like unwrapping an xmas present. A new exiting body to play with and the potential that she's an animal in bed. That's pretty much all foreplay.

With someone you love the anticipation is shorter. That's why foreplay is the cornerstone of a good sex life in a relationship. It's also less animalistic, it's more making love than fucking. That's no way less exciting of course but it's not in any way mysterious.

For me it differs based on style and sexual prowess. If she's crap it can take ages. If she's very active and dominant I can struggle to last more than 5 minutes.

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A male reader, M Proops United Kingdom +, writes (28 January 2014):

I don't understand how you can say you love someone and not engage in foreplay which is the most important thing when you love someone.There's sex and there's making love which is emotionally more pleasureable.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (28 January 2014):

YouWish agony auntI only have an opinion, and I'm sure it's different from person to person, but a hookup is generally a self-serving activity. A guy lasting shorter may be because he's not as into pleasing the girl he's with. Also a first-time sexual experience can cause overexcitement which can cause premature episodes.

With the same person, you're more into each other, there's a lot more effort, more of a savoring of the act itself AND the foreplay (foreplay DEFINITELY involved!). Many times a hookup can come after a celibate patch which causes it to be premature versus regular sex and regular relief.

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