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Why do we girls go for the bad boys?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 April 2008) 10 Answers - (Newest, 1 May 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, *oftballplaya writes:

this is just a curious question here. Why do most girls fall for the "bad boy" lol so far i have liked 3 guys and two of them are bad. I wont get into it because i hate when folks judge, but anyways most girls who i know and are friends with much rather date a "bad boy" then any other type. I dont understand and yet I like them myself lmao.

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A male reader, oldfool Australia +, writes (1 May 2008):

oldfool agony auntHave you ever heard that men find female prisoners, even female murderers sexually fascinating?

Let me in on a secret. Bad girls turn me on. I wish they didn't, but they do. But so do good girls, come to think of it...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

I think girls and women just need to grow up and accept some responsibility for their actions.

You don't stay out of bad relationships by magically never being attracted to anyone who is bad for you. You stay out of bad relationships by accepting the fact that you have those bad attractions sometimes, but showing the maturity not to act on them.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (30 April 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntWomen choose the men they do because they

feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.

Rogues are strong and dominant , qualities which women find appealing and attractive in men.

They also have a soft side and this makes the women believed that she can change him.

She sees the potential in him to be a better person or lover.

They will always have an excuse for the guy’s shortcomings because of love.

Good guys are like wimps, they let you in the driver's seat.

He does not pose any challenges and can be very boring and predictable.(No surprises!)

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (30 April 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntA bit of harsh news women might not like. Most women do NOT go for bad guys. Don't make the mistake of thinking sites like this reflect society. Only people with problems come to problem sites, go on chat shows etc etc.

Oprah never had an episode "Please help me, I am happy with my life".

Why does this matter, because I noticed that some people (men go for bad girls too) seems to use the idea that everyone does this as an excuse not to find fault with themselves.

Remember the other side of statistics. If 50% of marriages fail, 50% do not. If 50% of people loose their virginity before 18, 50% do not. If 50% of women been in abusive relationships, 50% have not.

So don't ask why most girls go for the bad boys, ask why YOU keep doing it. No need to answer that because you already did, the bad boys are more fun to date. Gosh a teen girl more intrested in having fun then wonder on each date wether this is Mr Right who she is going to marry, have kids with and grow old togeter, that is a shocker.

Enjoy your youth.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008):

Well I've never really gone for 'bad guys'.. But I can understand why some people would. Maybe it's because they're daring, good fun to be around?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008):

hi. i've been in taht situation before and i still can't say why is it that we stupid girls fall for bad boys. as a girl said before, some girls like to feel dominated but i can say that's not what i wanted and still got it. i believe the reason why I fell for that boy was that i creeated my own image of him. my own idea. which had nothing to do with reality. sometimes we are just so blinded by attraction or love that we just don't see what's really in front of us. so my advice is to really open your eyes, and try to see your situation from the outside, just like anyone else would see it. it worked for me.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008):

It's all just natural selection at work.

The ideal child combines the natural alpha-male genetics of a "bad boy" with the upbringing of a beta-male "nice guy" during the kid's life.

So young girls & women are hot after the "bad boys" during their teens and early 20s. If we were still cave people without birth control, then she would have several kids by the time she's in her mid-20s.

So now that she's gotten pregnant with kids that have the right genetics, it's time to find a "nice guy" to be a good father to these rug rats that the bad boys left behind. She'll parter off with someone a little more of the nice guy type to actually raise those kids that she had with the bad boys. (But bad-boys are still the best genetics. so if she ever cheats on her nice guy, then there are pretty good odds that it will be with more of a bad-boy.)

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (30 April 2008):

Collaroy agony auntThree cheers for LIERIN !

HIP HIP HOORAY!!!

HIP HIP HOORAY!!!

HIP HIP HOORAY!!!

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A female reader, LIERIN United States +, writes (30 April 2008):

LIERIN agony auntHey, I agree with the first comment!

I have been in 8 relationships in my whole life (serious ones) .. .they all SUCKED ! I was cheated on, beaten up, lied to, I stopped eating, cause I was too fat for SOMEONE ... and you know what? I LIKED IT .. for some wierd reason, I liked this a... holes that were treating me poorly like a piece of s ...

One after another ... each and every time was the same exact guy with the same exact personality that was horrible to me!

FInaly I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ... I went out with a totaly different person .. with personality I would never go out with, cause he wasnt COOL and SEXY enough for me .. and you know what?

He became the love of my life a man I will marry a man that loves me for what I am even if I am fat or skinny, that never hits me, that never cheats on me that doesnt lie and that tells me every single day how much he loves me!!!!!

Now I tell all my friends that are dating dushbags to stop it and find someone that deserve to be with them and not ruin their life for someone that will never truly love them.

I dont know if that helps ...

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (30 April 2008):

Collaroy agony auntI believe anybody who has any idea about pyschology can answer this. It is as old as bread this behaviour.

The answer is simple, some woman ( damn it a lot of woman ) are attracted to personalities who will dominate and treat them poorly. It's because they live in the futile hope that they will be the girl who finally tames the beast.

Every girl I know who likes the bad boys leads a life of abject misery, they are either abused or single after being abused - one girl I worked with still thinks she can change her man - he is in jail after nearly killing her and her mother and she still thinks she can change him and is sticking by him - it is very sad.

Try and break the habit, think outside the box, ask yourself do you want a life filled with abuse and constant degredation or do you want to be happy. If its the latter, stay away from the bad boys.

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