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Why do some women hold back their feelings?

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Question - (16 December 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 May 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Please explain why women hold back their feelings for a man? Why am I holding back how I truly feel? Why do we put up the defense and not let our guard down? I don't know why I am doing it myself.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011):

Because women are not allowed to make the first move and initiate relationships nor express feelings. It's the man's job. Women are supposed to play games and not express any feelings of commitment. If women did that, then things would go wrong.

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A female reader, Fiona_Greenwell United Kingdom +, writes (19 December 2008):

Fiona_Greenwell agony auntWise women do hold back. Holding back is about moderation and control. This can be both positive and negative.

It can incorporate a respect for the self and it can also on occasion, hinder prospects we have with regards to relationships with others.

Holding back can greatly depend on the appropriateness of the situation and on your self-esteem. If you are holding back as a defence mechanism because of poor past experience then you can acknowledge that your actions are entirely rational. Once you have resolved this conflict, you can progress.

If, however, you are holding back due to the restriction and conservation of social norms, then you may well be justified to act in the way you do.

First and foremost you must do 'what is right' and fair both to others and yourself.

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A male reader, Revanofdarkness Germany +, writes (16 December 2008):

Revanofdarkness agony auntYour maybe afraid of getting hurt like falling in love and then someday losing that person i know how it is i fell in love with this girl we dated for a year and had so many plans for the future and then she breaks up with me because she feels attracted to girls. :( and i'm still really heartbroken over it and theres not even one day that goes by where i don't think about her and start crying.

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