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Why do some people become racist and rude and have a problem with interracial relationships?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Family, Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 August 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, *luvhellokitty97 writes:

Why do some people have a problem with interracial relationships?

There's this guy that I like and he's white and I'm black, Native American, Puerto Rican, and white, but most people just think I'm black and Puerto Rican.

Anyway, were at the mall just hanging out with some friends and we went to a different mall than the one that we usually go to. We were walking behind our friends and just talking, sometimes we would hug or hold hands while we walked, and a couple of times he put his arm around my waist. I went to the bathroom and he was waiting form me.

When I came out there were these two white girls that were flirting with him, but he wasn't really paying them much mind. When I walked up to them he smiled and put his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him. The two girls scowled at me and called me a ghetto hood rat.

When we walked started walking around again some black guys said that the guy that I was with didn't deserve to be with me strictly because he was white. Later on some white guys called the guy that I was with a n*gger lover.

When a group of Hispanic/Latino people saw us they started whisper and saying crap about us in Spanish. I can speak Spanish and I knew what they were saying and it really ticked me off.

The majority of the girls that he has dated were Mexican and black and he's used to people like that. But I've never had a boyfriend and I'm not used to people like that.

I'm not the only person I know who goes through stuff like this. My brother has always been attracted to Asian girls, especially Japanese and Korean, and one my best friends is white, Mexican, and Native American and her boyfriend is Asian,

I think it's something different to not understand and interracial relationship, but to be completey against I think is stupid. I understand that that's just how some people are but just because you're that way doesn't mean you have to be rude about it.

View related questions: best friend, flirt, never had a boyfriend

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A female reader, VSAddict United States +, writes (27 August 2011):

VSAddict agony auntI love people who don't let race keep them apart and I can't stand others who think people should only be with their own race. I'm attracted to every ethnicity and if I wanted to be with someone of a different race, then I'd be worrying about their racial preferences when it comes to relationships. There's not many guys out there who would date interracially and it's sad because they really might be able to find happiness if they gave it a try. The people around you are ignorant and immature. Don't let them get to you. You're with him and you're happy and that's all that matters. They have no right to judge you on something like this, but people always will. Just let it go and remember that people like them won't get anywhere in life with that type of attitude towards race. Be yourself with who you want and don't let their comments stop you. Like your boyfriend, just get used to it and brush it off. If you're going to be with him, then you're going to have to because they won't stop. But just remember to be happy and don't be afraid to live your life even if others disapprove.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (27 August 2011):

Abella agony auntIgnorance seems to be the most common issue that allows racism to fester.

Education is the single most important factor that can address inappropriate racism. Study Sociology and culture and anthropology and people might understand the beliefs that result from the culture the person grew up in.

If a child has only even been scowled at, never received a smile from a person who looks different to their own family, or worse has been treated with patronising contempt is it any wonder that some twisted ideas start to fester?

And out-dated values and attitudes still being passed on in families from the inappropriate unguarded comments thrown around in the home, in private. A child assimilates all this prejudice.

But travel the world and you will find people of all colors and creeds achieving good things.

We are not so different. Every language you care to name has the same words, they just pronounce them differently. Where ever you are born and what ever language the people speak at home they will still have equivalent words for happy, sad, tall, short, baby, father, mother, good and bad and so on.

A culture can tolerate racism and even allow it to fester. Or the tone can be set from the highest level where racism in any form is not tolerated. And where racists are shunned.

I have often thought that if someone is seriously racist then perhaps they can walk a mile in the shoes of someone whose culture they denigrate. Socialisation in some communities does not equip a person to be anything but prejudiced, because from the cradle the child sees ignorance and distrust and even hatred towards another culture.

Treat every person you deal with respect and establish the boundaries that are important to you and it is hard to be prejudiced. And if people mess up, no matter what their station in life, no matter how important they are or no matter how rich or how poor, all racists should be called out for racist by laws that deal seriously and promptly with racists.

In this day and age one would think people would have moved on from being racist. But sadly this is not always the case in some enclaves.

And if a whole community is racist then that spells a failure of leadership at the highest level. And it can be addressed But it may take a generation or two while Racist Dinosaurs at every level in the community continue to spout hate and rubbish.

Watch the study shown in the 1960s film "Blue Eyed/Brown Eyed" by Jane Elliott and you will see how easy it is to create discussion on the unfairness of racism. Because racism is ignorance and lack of awareness and irrational.

Go back far enough in your Family tree, if you could, thousands of years ago, and we are all related to each other. Take part in the Human Genome project by the National Geographic and that will also demonstrate we are all decended from people who left Africa eons ago.

Racism is so out of date in the 21st Century. But still it persists in some enclaves due to ignorance.

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