A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Do they not know that girls are PEOPLE and not THINGS? What causes them to be like this? Is it in their genes? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ellie_420  +, writes (24 March 2009):
Lazy guy, i see your point of view but i dont think it applies to every situation and the answer to this question is not black and white. I think the reality is there are alot of assholes out there and it may be true that sometimes women do let this stuff happen to them by choosing to engage in a relationship with the so called 'bad boy' but there are alot of guys out there who are fake. THey say what you wanna hear and take advantage of the fact they are being liked. I don't think its fair to say that women allow it as often they are laboring under a misapprehension. Claiming that women put themselves in that position is just a generalisation
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008): yes it's in their genes. just about all guys are this way. probably 99.9% of them.
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A
male
reader, Cowboy  +, writes (6 November 2008):
I think lazyguy has hit the nail on the head.
It may sound a little unsympathetic, but for the most part it's true.
Just to provide a reasonable argument both ways though, there are guys who are incredibly adept at portraying themselves as nice guys.
I know a guy who does this. He tells girls he loves them. Sometimes he will pursue them for weeks, and he'll make them feel like they are the love of his life.
I think to be honest that he actually believes this himself, so he is very convincing. It seems though that as soon as he sleeps with one of these girls, he goes off them.
I'm pretty annoyed at him because he has upset two of my very good friends. Neither of these girls are what you might call naive, but he still managed to convince them.
If he actually believes that he's in love with the girls, then he is painfully stupid, if he is simply lying to get them into bed, then he's an a**hole.
Either way, he's dangerous.
The thing is, guys like this often come unstuck. Last I heard, he had told some girl he was in love with her, and her huge drug dealer boyfriend found out.
I'd like to be there when he catches up with him.
The good news is that guys like this are few and far between. The main thing to remember is that you will not change a player and make him settle down with you, no matter how badly you want to.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (6 November 2008):
 Frankly? Because women allow it.
If you fall for the most idiotic lines, for guys that you been warned about by everyone then what do you expect?
You have to understand one simple thing in this life. You do NOT got a say how someone else wants to spend their life.
If men want to spend their life using women as sextoys, that is their right. YOU are responsible for NOT allowing yourself to be used as such if that is not what you want.
So the real question you should ask is "Why do I go for guys who obviously wants girls only for sex"?
If you didn't go for these guys it wouldn't matter to you would it?
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A
male
reader, Cowboy +, writes (6 November 2008):
Absolutely. And don't forget that it depends on the situation too.
I have been both a loving partner and a philanderer, and I can switch between the two with ease. To be honest, it largely depends on the girl.
If I don't want to be in a relationship, then I don't go for nice girls, and vice versa.
I'm always 100% honest about what I want, even though that occasionally means missing out. Unfortunately, girls often lie about what they want, and that's when you tend to hit trouble.
Men are no better. Some men will say literally anything that they think a girl wants to hear in order to get them into bed, and these are the guys you have to watch out for.
Just remember that if a guy seems like a player, he probably is, and never get involved with a 'bad boy' thinking that you can change him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): The media has a lot to do with this.. women are portrayed to be easy, horny wenches with no brains. It is up to you to not ALLOW men to treat you this way, if they can, they will.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (5 November 2008):
 Because SOME men are a-holes
the same way SOME women use men for sex
It people and their personaliteis not a gender
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): It's in their jeans!
Just as long as you know they are like that, you are warned. Some people don't realise and get much more hurt.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): No offense, but its the same reason why girls want "Bad boys."
I used to feel bad for some girls that men treated them only as sex objects. Then, after getting really hurt myself, and opening up my eyes...all I can say is that 90% of the time, its those girls' own fault.
Those girls wanted bad boys with bad attitudes? Then they get what you deserve. Like the other aunts stated, look beyond your typical guys, and you will see, that not all men use girls as sex objects.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): I have met some nice guys in my life who treat girls really well.I am sorry you met such bad guys who only wanted to use you.At your age guys just want to increase the notches in bed posts.Try dating some older guys who are more mature.All the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): You've been talking to the wrong guys, believe it or not, there are a lot of nice guys out there. Change your friends and you'll change your opinion about men.
PS: That's what she said "eyes", it's in their Jeans...lol
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 November 2008):
 More like in their pants.
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