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Why do so many teenage girls have a thing for their male teachers?

Tagged as: Age differences, Forbidden love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 May 2008) 16 Answers - (Newest, 30 December 2008)
A male United States age , anonymous writes:

Why do so many teenage girls on this site have a thing for their male teachers? There are so many posts from teenage girls who say they are in love with their male teachers. Some of these teachers are 20 or more years older than these girls, so it doesn't make sense to me that these girls are attracted to men who are so much older than they are. Can anyone explain what is up with this?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008):

Well in my case, and some others, it is a Father figure type love...not romantic love, but love nonetheless.

I love him because he is so kind, so dedicated, caring, funny, wise and sweet. I see what an amazing person he is everyday through his interactions with other students, other people, and stories he has told me. It melts my heart.

I never get tired of spending time with him and even see him outside of school at his home occasionally. I can't fathom a life where he isn't there...

He and I are exactly alike...it's kind of weird, like someone could be talking to the both of us, and I'll think of a response in my head and he'll say EXACTLY what I was thinking.

It's just one of those things you cannot help in life. When you are growing up and trying to find yourself you go through stages and I believe this is just one of them.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008):

To all the girls talking about the maturity and wisdom and emotional availability of these teachers:

I guarantee you there are teenage guys in your schools who already have all that stuff to offer, just like the male teachers do.

And I also guarantee that you're passing those mature teenage guys up to go for the "bad boys."

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008):

well i cant speak for other girls but as for me the reason I have strong emotions for my teacher is because he is a wonderful caring person,he has great plans for the future wants to be a good husband and father,hes so mature but could be childish when he wants to be hes resposible,smart...

i didnt fall for his physical but the soul he carryies is so wonderful sure i know his defaults i know hes not perfect but hey things happen you know you cant chose who you fall for.

in him i see an ideal partner someone i can share my life with....i dont see him as a father andi dont feel safe with him,in him i see the man not the teacher....i see someone that can give so much....

thats my reason of having feelings for my teacher.

as i said i cant speak for other girls but this is a few reasons why i feel this way towards him.

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A female reader, Angels Eyes United Kingdom +, writes (21 May 2008):

Angels Eyes agony auntWell teenage girls are with their male teachers quite alot and they're always having to listen to them and look at them.And male teachers have all this knowledge and maturity that guys their age don't have!!They have to be caring and supportive also.So i think thats main reasons teenage girls fall for their male teachers!!

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A female reader, dreamingwithabrokenheart United States +, writes (14 May 2008):

dreamingwithabrokenheart agony auntbritish_grl's answer hit the nail on the head.

they are older men in whom we see everything that we want to see in guys our age - their wisdom and maturity allows for them to understand us and our problems and they want the best for us - who DOESN'T want that in a man? A teacher is usually a mentor as well though I wouldn't say "father-like" because you don't like your teacher in the same way you like your dad.

What really bugs me though is when people brush off the word "love" on this forum and say that 'oh she's too young to know what love is, she can't possibly be in love with her teacher.' That's a completely insensitive and assumptive thing to say. Maybe in some cases it is just a crush that is overblown into all-out LOVE but NO ONE over the internet is in a position to judge whether it is "lust" or "love" unless you know them personally. Maybe the idea of a teacher-student love is completely ridiculous and far-fetched to some people, but trust me, to those experiencing it, it is very real and painful. Please don't judge.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008):

It could be..he is a father-like figure, that he is easy to talk to/willing to openly give help and talk to you, joke around/amuse you and entertain a class of people, especially if they're your friends. If they tease you, bring more attention to you, make you feel like you have hidden, great qualities within you therefore making you feel special. & then there is the possiblity of fantasizing about risk taking and slacking off boring work and talking about it with your friends.

That kind of thing.

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A female reader, Aeval Australia +, writes (6 May 2008):

Aeval agony auntI have noticed it tends to be young ladies from the UK who are in love with their teachers more than anywhere else.. I have no idea why. As long as it stays a school girl crush I don't really see the harm. It's when the stalking kicks in that it becomes a problem!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008):

They do this for many reasons...everyone has a fan base of groupies from little girls to adult girls/women.

1. Teachers have an enormous groupie of female fans/students

2.police officers have a enormous base, so do soldiers, doctors, the UPS man, mailmen or men in uniforms etc. So does business owners, supervisors, CEO's, executives, etc.

3. big RIG drivers too! Yes, truck drivers, for handling something so big or long (tractor trailer), airplane pilots and not just commercial pilots, body guards, secret service agents etc.....YOU GET THE PICTURE!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008):

You wonder how this can be.....in 2008? I don't know where you were raised, but I'm a 50 year old male and all thru my days back in school (Washington DC area)girls have been attracted to and infactuated with the male teachers. In fact many of the males have viewed the female teachers as sex objects, but were not obsessed with them.

In this day and age of so-called child molestation of students by teachers, it has been going on for centuries, but I'll just go by what I know.

My first encounter with sex in the classroom began in 1968. I was in the first grade. In my class room which was small...only 30 students or so, we had 7 girls in my class who would let us penetrate them with either our penis's, pencil erasers or our fingers. We moved to another section of the city and I transferred to another school. I was in the second grade. This neighborhood was an extremely poorer neighborhood from which I grew up and it was a more violent neighborhood. In my class, their was 5 girls who would allow

us to do the same as in my old school, but this time during lunch hour or school recess, we would venture over to an apartment building basement stairwell and have group sex. I know it sounds strange, because we were all so young, but it was a reality. I was once sent to the gym teacher for discipline action (corporal punishment back then) and witnessed the gym teacher and janitor having sex with not only 2 of my classmates, but also with 3 of the 6th graders at my school. It was the first time I had seen an 'adult' with a child. I got only 2 wacks from the wooden paddle and was told to keep my mouth shut or I would get the full 10 paddle strokes and much more. We were evicted from the neighborhood and moved to another section of the city. I am now in the 3rd grade and can only remember a gym eacher being caught with a 4th grade girl in this school, but when I went to another school in the same area (SW WASHINGTON)which covered grades 5 and 6, I was introduced to sex by female teachers....I know of 6 female teachers out of 34 who fondled the boys on a regular basis and a couple of tehem who would perform oral sex on the boys....ALL of them were old and decrepid to me. One who had fondled me, had me scared to death....I thought she was a witch! She failed me because I refused to allow her to put her lips on my private parts. None of these teachers in this school looked liked the teachers of today! In this same school, many of the students were having sex with not only each other, but also with the adult male staff. I grew older and moved on to junior high school which had grades 7 to 9 and I can tell you this....it was like Peyton Place or a soap opera. We had a male teacher whom was in a nationally recognized singing group and I must say this......the female students thru themselves at him. The male students were both jealous and idolized him. Sex was pravalent in the school, nothing new or strange about that, but this is where the female teachers were younger and very attractive. Besides the singer/teacher, there were numerous male teachers who had a flock of female fans whom were infactuated with them and who were willing participants in many sexual liasions. You would see many instances of male teachers and female students at school or see this activity after school, either on school grounds or in various neighborhoods.

During my son's turn at school, there were many instances thru out his tenure as a student, where you will find girls having sex with teachers, gym instructors, vice principles etc. The males have an advantage of being strong, INTELLIGENT father figures. Being leaders. Who wouldn't want to sleep with a man who can tell a group of people to do something and have it done? It is not new that you see all of these girls on here being infactuated with their male teachers.....this is and has been going on for years and years.

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A female reader, Love_is_all_youu_need United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2008):

Love_is_all_youu_need agony auntWell there's just something about male teachers that are attractive to young girls! Looks aren't really important, if the guy is good-looking then that's just a bonus. But what really attracts us is their maturity, intelligence, sense of humour, friendliness, the respect and caring! The list could go on... they're someone students can rely upon and admire!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008):

Well they're with them a lot of time, and support them. At that age, your hormones are experimenting and I guess sometimes intelligence is a turn on for people. Personally, I've never really fancied a teacher, never mind loved them, but I can understand why some girls would find them attractive.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2008):

I don't see why we have so many of these questions because moderators have an option to block them with an "asked often - please go through the site an find a similar one to yours" reply.

But they also have the option to block questions like this one with a "site question - please ask Andrew the site guy" so what are you going to do? haha.

The reason teens fall in love with teachers is that they are cool, older, in a position of power, and safe.

It's the same reason millions of them pay all their pocket money to go and see boy bands and buy the merchandise.

They only ever see the friendly professional side and their head fills in all the rest of the details to make them perfect.

Plus their hormones are all over the place so it's perfectly normal to have a crush on older people of the same sex.

Most of my teen aged crushes only lasted a few weeks, so I usually advise them to keep their feelings to themselves and enjoy it till it passes.

It's not just teenagers. Type John Prescott into Google News and check out how many affairs he's had with young secretaries while he was deputy prime minister. It obviously works for younger women and older men of all ages.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, simplyjuliet United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2008):

simplyjuliet agony auntMost people presume that teens falling "in love" with their teachers is always merely an infatuation. Of course, a teenage girl can fall for her teacher as he is an authorative figure - do not get me wrong. Older males make younger girls feel loved, safe, and cared for. However, you can not help who you fall for, and it is completely wrong to say that the teachers rarely feel the same way as the student, i know of many teachers who have had strong feelings/attractions for their students due to becoming emotionally involved or somewhat close to their student.

There is nothing wrong with falling for someone older, it is only a problem when it is a teacher. For some, this "love" simply fades, however some people genuinly fall IN love with older men, including their teachers, as these days, some teachers tend to cross the line whe it comes to student/teacher relations (not in a sexual way, they just form a special bond)

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A female reader, british_girl United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2008):

british_girl agony auntOf course we fall in love with our teachers! why wouldn't we? they're smart, they're caring, they believe in you, they're supportive, they're often quite handsome, and they're not immature, egotistical jocks like the younger boys are!

As a young male, you should look up to your teachers and try to be like them. Maybe then we girls will find guys our own age more attractive.

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A female reader, Susan Strict United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2008):

Susan Strict agony auntI agree absolutely with "hlskitten" - and I see that we've just had a question here from a teenage boy in love with his female teacher.

I think it's rather bizarre, because there's absolutely no doubt that when I was in my teens and early twenties I found older men far more interesting - yet now I'm older than most of those I found attractive then, the ones who would particularly appeal to me (if I wasn't happily attached already) would be the men considerably younger than me.

Perhaps there's an optimum age at which men are at their most attractive?

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2008):

hlskitten agony auntJust a guess but, its similar to female patients being 'in love' with their doctor. Its an authoritive figure in their life that makes them feel safe.

99% of the time its not recipricated (sp)

Usually the teachers/doctors are happily married with children similar ages and wouldn't go near the one infatuated with them.

Although its common for the young person to not actually see that. And they covince themselves their love interest is showing signs of being as equally in love with them.

Just my thoughts on it. As i once did have a bit of a thing for my doctor! Manymoons ago.

C xxxx

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