New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login225173 questions, 979088 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Why do people want to have threesomes, and how do they work?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 May 2006) 11 Answers - (Newest, 12 March 2011)
A female , anonymous writes:

Are people ment to like threesomes? os if you and your boyfriend had a threesome with another girl wouldn't his girlfriend get really jealous watching her boyfriend with another girl having sex with her right next to her?

Second question is, is that what they do? Take turns having sex with each person in the bed? If so the people of the same sex in the bed wouldn't want sex with each other unless they were bisexual?

I'm confused.

View related questions: jealous, threesome

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, SANNAH Netherlands +, writes (12 March 2011):

People want to have threesomes to spice up their sex lives..And a threesome arrangement stops men from cheating..

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010):

i say that thresomes can be a good and a bad thing as you see you partener miht think you are attracted to the other one more and this can cause a barrier and confusion in the relatonship therefore i wouldnt reccommend them but threesomes are for some people but if you are not comfortable then dont do it !

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009):

spoken in your usual articulate way and obviously the view from a M. :D

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, heartfullalove Ireland +, writes (24 November 2009):

heartfullalove agony auntAs you can tell, people have them because they love the idea in the first place, and then want to make it a reality, and then find a combination of three people where the sexual dynamics and mutual attraction are overwhelming enough to get all three to go for it.

The reality may turn out to be even better than the idea, or may become a source of mild regret for some of the participants.

People who answer this question will of course draw on and refer to their own empirical experience. As you can see from the army of anon's below, many people have had threesomes and obviously enjoyed them. And others will wave a red flag saying 'HERE LIES THE END OF THE WORLD'. Everything depends on the combination of circumstances and the interplay of factors.

I have participated in two (one MMF, and one MMM, with the emphasis on MMMMMMM if you get my drift) and enjoyed the first one to pieces, but wouldn't repeat the second in a great hurry - wouldn't say never again, but it was all a bit too close to the bone. Not to be taken lightly.

Jeralousy will possibly come into play if a couple (esp a long-term married one) are involved, it's all for you to judge.

As for the logistics of how they work, well - the variety of combinations on offer are a lot more varied than is the case with 'twosomes'. The moon's the limit!

But 'twosomes' are quite popular for lots of very good reasons, which is why most people generally prefer them.

Good luck!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009):

Threesomes work in diffrent ways,

ffm- girls tend to have sex with eachother aswell

mmf- girl has sex with both men by both passage ways or had sex with 1 whilst giving the other oral,

their pretty good for experimenting, guys arnt the only 1s who like threesomes by the way after having them alot of girls enjoy them

they shud only be used in rleationships when the couple does no know the other person other wise it cud get complicated

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008):

No confusion at all. You'd be surprised how many guys dream of having two women in bed. This is mainly a guy thing. However, some women also get off on it. Some of us get the chance and take it, and some never do. On three occasions I have had sex with two women at the same time (threesome). Perverted and kinky by most standards, but we were all over 21 and very legal. Actually, one was married at he time. It was our business and no one else's, except for maybe the one woman's husband who she was cheating on. The two women were mid twenties, bisexual and didn't mind a bit while I watched them do their thing with each other while I enjoyed watching. I also took turns doing them one at a time while the other watched. A lot of oral was also involved. They enoyed being watched and watching the action. I think people who enjoy threesomes are, by nature, voyeurists and exhibitionists. However, I am not gay so I would never do a threesome with another guy and one woman. I have never been hard in front of any guy, nor he in front of me. I would be very uncomfortable with that situation. But, two hot women and me in bed, yes indeed. Any time.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008):

When I was 20, I casually dated this girl who brought up the subject of a threesome with her and a female friend. I was soon to find out she and her friend were bisexual. I consented and it was the most intense sex I ever had in my life. We had three different sessions trying every conceivable combination and position. My only concern in the whole matter was I was finding it to be quite addictive. Too enjoyable. BTW, they were bisexual, NOT lesbian. There is a difference. During our playtime, I found they both liked what I had quite well.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007):

The person who said they've never known a threesome not to end in disaster doesn't know enough people. My wife and I have had threesomes with other men and have had absolutely no regrets. We know others who have had the same positive experiences. That's not to say that there aren't situations where threesomes negatively impact a relationship. Threesomes aren't for everyone. They are for those who have very solid relationships and wish to explore or enhance their own relationships. A threesome can be great fun but there is a certain amount of emotional stress that goes with it. In our case, I worried about allowing my wife to be with another man and the results of that. My worried how I would react to seeing her with another man. In our case, our worries were overdone and all was fine. The second time was much easier.

You'll find many people on here that will tell you how threesomes will ruin your relationship. It's really up to you and your significant other if you want to pursue a threesome. Talk about it extensively with your mate and proceed slowly. There are numerous books on the subject and I suggest you read the sections about the emotional struggle thoroughly before meeting anyone. Plan your night with your new friend and you may have a great experience.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (28 May 2006):

Wendyg agony auntThreesomes should not be taken lightly and they can end in disaster. Some couples that have been together along time, like to expirment and introduce a third party. This needs to be something that all parties agree on in the 1st place. It is a bit like taking turns or all three could be involved at the same time. It doesnt have to be a girl thats introduced it could equally be a male. Some like to watch and be watched. And some would/do get jealous, so its something that needs to be thought about long and hard before this is done. Some men are really turned on by seeing thier girlfriend with another man and vice versa, however, just because one partner is up for it it doesnt mean this is what has to happen, only do what you want to and feel comfortable with.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Angelicc United Kingdom +, writes (28 May 2006):

Angelicc agony auntSome people like to watch, some like to join in.

Some girls like done up the bum and vagina at the same time.

Some guys like to doing a girl while she's prefering oral on someone else.

Theres many reason but should never been done while in a relationship as it does always end bad as she's below

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2006):

I have never known of a threesome to not end in disaster. You are absoluetely right, people do get jealous. It causes all sorts of problems!

Obviously some threesomes do work out - but I think they are taking a risk, especially so if two of them are in a "loving" relationship.

As for your second question, I think it depends on the people. It could be how you suggested, 2 people could be having sex, the third could be giving or receiving some kind or oral. If it's MMF (Male, Male, Female) then perhaps they might try double penetration (one man vaginally, the other anally). If it's FFM, it's probably more orally focused.

I guess a threesome is one of those taboo desires that some people like to fulfill!

Hmmmmmm ;)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Why do people want to have threesomes, and how do they work?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.03125!