A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am back in the dating game after two years of not looking. For the first time in my life I am looking to actually pay attention to the red flags(previously when the signs read “wrong way”) I just kept going.I would say I am an attractive women ( I don’t mean to say this to be vain but I have been told this since I was little) and I don’t have a problem I guess attracting men BUT the ones that I have said yes to have been negligent - self centered and abusive (verbally)Lately back in the game I have noticed a lot of men bringing up money. I come from a middle class but my parents have instilled a very hard work ethic.Some of the men will almost always talk about :“I made an offer to this house for this amount(extravagant amount)”“All my friends live in (insert all rich neighborhoods)”“I pay 4K a month in rent ur rent is nothing”I guess I have seen this with men in the workplace and in the dating place and it feels as if they want to prove they are rich - when I guess in my mind why would that matter? Why do men do this? Is this an insecure personality trait ?Men that want attention and to show off?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 July 2018):
 I think it is the type of men you are dating. it sounds like they try to impress you with how much they make. Maybe they feel you are high maintenance and that is what you look for in a man. You might give off the impression that You want a comfortable life and a man to bring home the money. Not all men are like this. Maybe try expanding your type to other men.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2018): I find that often of a man needs to reference the money he has that is because it's all he brings to the table. Also he often has outdated ideas about women having to provide youth and good looks and men provide money . Be very careful as many such men discard women as they get older and the men consider the women are no longer bringing youthful good looks to the table ie these men are often the ones who trade the wife In on a newer model after wife had given him twenty years and three kids
Look for men who offer more important things like deeper personalities and security in terms of commitment rather than money is my advice
This is a red flag
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2018): We live in a materialistic world; and some men may presume that status and wealth is what women want above anything else in a man. In many cases that's true.
Not all men are like that; no more than all women are materialistic and gravitate towards wealthy men.
I guess can we can both generalize and presume as much as we like. Which is what they're doing when they feel they have to brag and over-compensate to get a date, or impress women.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 June 2018):
 I agree with Code Warrior that SOME men will do this. Why?
Because they think women wants ONLY a successful man who CAN support her and bring "bacon" to the table.
Most women want men who are financially stable and hardworking. Of course they want more than JUST that but it ranks HIGH on the " I want this in a partner" list.
By mentioning how WELL they do financially they presume that YOU will be impressed and consider them an option for a partner, even if they aren't looking for a long term partner.
Is it insecurity? No, I don't think so. I think it's more as them POLISHING themselves to be as "shiny" as possible to catch your eye. That THEY are a GOOD provider.
The fact that you are attractive might also be a factor. They might think "beautiful woman ONLY wants a rich guy" - where as a move average woman might want security, she isn't (judging by her looks) as "high maintenance as a beautiful woman.
Now if ALL they talk about is money and how much they make and spend... it might also be nerves. They might not be GREAT at conversing but the subject of money might seem easy.
I do find it funny how much Americans like to talk about money and material goods.
If you don't particular enjoy the subject of money and spending money, change the subject? Get to know other things about him? If you otherwise see something in the guy that you think you might like.
Not all men talk about money like that. But some subscribe to the " If you got it, flaunt it" mentality. If that is not your cup of tea, move on to the next.
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