A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 and I am about to graduate college this fall. I have never dated anyone or had a boyfriend. I am never asked out, approached, and I am almost never hit on by men. I have tried joining some organizations on campus to get to know a few guys but none of them showed interest in me and they practically ignored me. They even started relationships with other girls in the organization. The few times I showed interest in a guy, it never went well, and he never seemed interested in me back. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I feel so hopeless and unlucky and I cry so much because I want to find love but it seems so hard for me to find it. Men never seem interested in me and I feel so forever alone and that no man will love me. I am extremely scared I will never be able to attract a guy (and no I am not fat/overweight, I am slim). It's hard for me to believe that love will come to me at a later time when I am struggling now. I guess I just need advice because I don't know what to do at all when it comes to love/dating. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2018): The answer is simple: stop looking for love.You will enjoy life more.Remember the bee comes to the flower for pollen and never the other way around.Except of course the venus fly trap that spreads its sticky petals/ leaves and devours anything that comes its way.Remember you are the flower and men/guys are the bees.They follow your scent and try to pollinate whenever they can.Maybe you have divine protection and you might be a serious kind of person who wants the real deal and the whole kibbush.You dont need a list of men who have bedded you, just that one special super connection whom you havent met yet.So, little flower hold out for that really interested bee, the one you like enough to pollinate you and dont settle for less because you dont need to be another used flower on someone elses list! So many women have been influenced by the media portrayal of romance and yet we find that many high profile media men have raped and used the woman who got the acting parts, so young women tend to have a vastly distorted expectation of what real love is.Your age range makes you highly desirable to all kinds of men so go for friendship before romance and keep it realistic.Dont get swept away by the idea that all women are useable sex objects because you need so much more than that!You are as good as anyone else and you must never forget that.Perhaps even better than some!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2018): Even "fat/ overweight" girls and woman need LOVE. I'm size 14-16 so a volumptuous and curvy woman of 44 years old with no man or woman in my life because I have been judged already (by people like you) and I feel offended at your comment.
Maybe stop judging, stop being so self absorbed and woe is me, stop being so introverted (and cruel, thoughtless to boot) and then you'll understand what LOVE is all about!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 May 2018):
 What has your weight got to do with it? You do know some guys prefer larger girls and some slimmer? Body shape should not have anything to do with it. Maybe you are missing something I suggest talking to a close friend and asking them for advice, they will know you better so can judge better about where you are going wrong.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2018): Anon again, for some reason it cut post in half. Anyway i find dating sites an easier way to meet men if I'm looking in particular. Maybe try a new way of meeting people? Or,just carry on being you and enjoy life! I don't think there is anything wrong with you and probably a lot of people have felt like that at some point. You are being a bit hard on yourself i think! Relationships don't always come when you want them and sometimes appear when you dont!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2018): I've almost never had a man show interest in me either. I'm socially awkward and assume i give off a weird vibe. The one time i tried i was rebuffed and the man seemed disgusted. Almost all my relationships were people i met in online dating to start with.i prefer that as in theory(people do lie of course) if someone is chatting to me they are single and interested in me. I personally prefer to get that out the way first before meeting.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 May 2018):
 When you DO show interest in a guy, how do you go about it? Do you back away if they don't seem to respond to what you are doing? Or do you keep at it?
I have seen women who does a complete 180 when a guy enters the room, they becomes fake and desperate. Sometimes that tactic works but mostly not.
I think it all comes down to HOW strong you show interest. If it's too strong it might make a guy back away and too "weak" they might not notice.
In social situation do you INTERACT? or are you usually a spectator? Do you have friends? Are you good at social situation? Or struggling? Are you a positive person? Are you good at small talk? Humor?
You being slim is neither here nor there. Being SLIM is not a quality. It's just the shape of your body.
Are there things YOU enjoy? Hobbies? Are those things you can do with others?
WHAT do you have to offer? Have you thought about that? And WHAT are you looking for in a guy?
I have more questions than answers for you OP, because it's hard to guess why you are in this position.
Crying over the fact that you don't have a BF is not going to do anything for you. Other than make you miserable. You aren't OWED one. We are not "issued" a BF/GF at a certain age.
If you have FEMALE friends ASK them what you do "wrong" or should improve on. And don't get offended when they tell you.
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