Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, satindesire  +, writes (21 May 2009):
 You've been asked to use proper English several times and I'm sure we'd all be very pleased if you would drop the slang and text speak.
You typing like that makes it nearly impossible to read and also makes you look like an unintelligent person. I know you can type better than this.
A
female
reader, pebble  +, writes (21 May 2009):
 You really do need to learn to type in proper English. This is not a text message, most people here are mature, clever individuals. Not 13 year old girls.You do not seem to understand men at all. You cannot control how much he masturbates. It's not really any of your business, just like it's none of his business how much you do it.You need to figure out what is making you so insecure about it, because something is. You say you get angry every time he does it, but to be honest, you shouldn't even know when he does it. I mean, do you wait outside the bedroom waiting for him to finish? Or "hi sweetie, have you jerked off today?" when you see him.It's a little creepy.Work out why you have a problem with it. We can't tell you that. You need the help of a professional to work through some of the issues that you obviously have. Because your annoyance at him is unrational, unreasonable and unfair.You're probably never going to find a man that doesn't masturbate so the sooner you sort your issues out, the better!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyh i did ur the one who waz rude by callin me an control freak when i aint plzzzz dnt write on my qustions agen thanks :D
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): Did you tell me to shutup? Man you shutup you wanted answers you got them if you dont like it dont ask us o.k
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A
male
reader, unclezak +, writes (21 May 2009):
IT's not a matter of you allowing him- that's why you were maybe called a control freak. It's his decision even thoguh you're together. You should try asking him why he needs to masturbate so much and take it from there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLook Me Love It Not Being rude im just saying ok
im not an control freak he chose too wank 2 times a week maybe more not me sooo that don't make me an control freak
oki"!!!
thanks agen popcycle what soo too much sex can lead too masturbate????
if so then we do it quilt alot!!!
how do you start a new qustion???
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A
female
reader, pebble +, writes (21 May 2009):
Don't be so rude to people. You're only angry because your man does something you don't like. You should be talking to him about it, not freaking out at people here. You can't tell people to shut up when they give advice that you asked for. If you didn't want to hear a wide range of opinions then you shouldn't have posted here.
And honey, if it's getting to the point where you're trying to control how much he masterbates because it makes you angry then you do sound very much like a control freak. You need to see a counsellor to help find out why you are so insecure. Because it seems your self esteem is so low that you cannot even cope with your partner doing something completely natural and normal.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionum i am not a control freak me love i come on here for advice not abuse so shut up if you aint gonna reply nice things then don't write on my qustion thanks!!!!thanks for your advice popcycle i didn't no that could happen but i do let him masturbate but when he done it i get pissed off there no harm in that i still let him masturbate i calm down in the end cause i go and lay in my bedroom x
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): be happy hes only masturbating ,not having sex with an oter gal....
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): i think you are a control freak. thats what i think its his life he can do it as much as he wants!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim not trying too control him he said about it and i agree with him so were both happy!!!
omg why do men need too do it that much they won't have any enagry left for sex lol didn't no they need too masturbate that much that loads!!!! if they didn't masturbate for ages what would happen then????
wb
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A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (21 May 2009):
You shouldn't try and control how much he masturbates. That's like him trying to control how much you eat. It's not fair.
He should masturbate however much he likes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok thanks for all your help i understand more better now i am getting use too him masturbate we had a talk n he going too do it 2 times a week maybe less!! do u reakon it fair??
but thanks agen for the help
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok thanks for yh help i really understand now!!!
i didn't no men have sex mad on the brain lol
we do wank each other n we both love it!!!
he said it just a habbit lol
thanks agen for all your help x
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (20 May 2009):
 Maybe as it is something he does without you?
Gina
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A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (20 May 2009):
Well, sweetheart, I really can't tell you why it bothers you. Perhaps you feel sort of posessive about his sexuality and feel as though it's akin to 'cheating' in a way, that he's doing sexual things without you. Of course, logically, I'm sure by now you realize that's not true.
It may be that you feel inadequate to fulfill his sexual desire and it affects your self esteem because you want to be the best sex partner for him that you can be.
It could be the fact that you're afraid that he looks at porn, and you may have body issues because of that.
There are, honestly, many many reasons why it could upset you. Perhaps you could sit down and just write it all out in a private journal, to explore exactly why his masturbation bugs you so much?
That way, maybe if you see why it bothers you, you can take steps to avoid the problem by correcting the issue within yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok fair anoth i understand now why they wank lol i anit got a problem cuz i do let him wank but he does it behind me back and it makes me angry!!!! why do you wrekon i don't like it???
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A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (20 May 2009):
Being a woman, you don't really understand how much higher a man's sex drive can be from a woman's. Their libidos are usually so much higher than ours that they'd be content having sex twice or three times a day! Most of the time, us busy women trying to deal with kids, cars, houses, jobs, chores, groceries, bills etc etc etc...we don't have the TIME to have sex three times a day, much less once a day!
We shouldn't expect a man to stay sexually unfulfilled just because we can't or won't sleep with them enough. Masturbation is completely innocent, harmless and keeps the edge off their sexual desire so that they can stay focused, faithful and healthy.
Expecting your man not to masturbate when he's got a girlfriend is a completely unrealistic expectation that simply isn't healthy for your relationship. I think instead of worrying about him masturbating, you need to take a good long look at WHY it hurts you and improve your self esteem and sense of self worth.
Your boyfriend masturbating in no way affects his feelings towards you.
As a woman with a very high sex drive, I can tell you from experience that wanting sex and feeling horny is INCREDIBLY distracting. It makes it nearly impossible to focus on important things when sex is on the brain. Masturbating is the way I relieve the pressure without having to bother my husband (whose sex drive is much lower than mine).
Me masturbating does not mean I don't love him or find him sexually attractive...as a matter of fact, one of the reasons why I masturbate as much as I do is because I find him so incredibly attractive that just being around him makes me want sex! Unfortunately, I can't have sex with him as much as I want to, but I certainly shouldn't be forced to suffer with uncomfortably pressing sexual desire for no reason.
The issue is not him masturbating, it's your self esteem.
Set aside the symptom and focus on the problem. Seek counseling, therapy...SOMETHING. Talk to someone. Your relationship should not have to suffer (and it will!) if you don't get to the bottom of your problem.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes that true
sorry
ok but i don't like it too tell the truth i think if men have girlfriends then they don't need too wank
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (19 May 2009):
 We're not trying to be rude but it won't be too long before you are in the grown up world where you need to be able to write properly.
There is nothing you can do.... Guys masturbate and will no matter what you say or do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni still don't think it very nice for men too do this when they have gf it makes me fill ugly!!!sorry if people couldn't understand my writing but you didn't need too be rude!!!!!i give him every women would expect!! wot should i do now??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone for ya help!!!
sorry i trought people might understand slang!!!
didn't need too be rude about it!!!!
i have told him loads off times but he don't listen!!!
i can't offer him nomore as he get everythink you could possibly want!!!
so what should i do next??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): well male people masturbate when they have girlfriends for one reason your not giving him what he wants. my advise is let him masturbate all he wants and if you end up catching him 3 times dump him. I suggest dumping him cos if he masturbates regularly it means he's sex mad and wants it. so you could do 1 of 2 things: dump him or take him to bed make love and have sex.(make sure he's wearing a condom)
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female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (19 May 2009):
All boys do this and into manhood it is deemed healthy for them and does not mean he loves you any less.
Gina
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A
male
reader, Rhandy  +, writes (19 May 2009):
 Its completely normal for a boys masturbates even they have girlfriends. Masturbates in my opinion is to satisfy the sexual needs when your GF/bf is not around, it doesnt mean that he/she dont love u, It just he/she wants to fulfill his desire when your not around or else if you are with him 24/7.
Thanks
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): ok well it is normal for a guy to do stuff by himself. just because he is making himself happy without you doesnt mean he doesn't love you. it is just saying he wants to make himself happy when he is alone. every guy does it even when they dont want to say they do. and guys do it when they are with someone too, girls even do it. so stop feeling like that and if you still have a problem with it talk to him let him know how you feel.
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female
reader, satindesire +, writes (18 May 2009):
Oh My Lord, can you please type in proper English next time?! I could barely understand your question!
By the way, almost everyone on the planet masturbates. Girls do it too, even when they're in a relationship.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (18 May 2009):
Why do girls talk in text speak and use CAPITOL letters for every word?
Because that is just the way it is, we have to put up with your little faults, you have to put up with ours!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): Perfectly Normal! Everyone does it! Both men and women. It has nothing to do with his love for you! It something that feels good, and different.
Try not to feel threatened by it. And don't attack him for doing it. You will cause unnecessary problems in your relationship.
If you have never masturbated...I think you should try it! It is okay to be into your own body. Infact it is healthy!
Try to keep an open mind!
Britt
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (18 May 2009):
 It is what boys do. If you get mad and jump down his throat about it, he'll start hiding it from you, which will only make you more angry. It isnt that he dosnt love you, or isnt satisfied with you, it's just something he probably did before you, and has gotten used to it, and can't kick the habit. Masterbating feels good, and it is normal. I masterbate, so does my husband. Guess we just love our bodies, lol. We don't let it disturb our sex life or anything. If it is too hard for you to deal with, you may need to find someone else, but I have to warn you, there is a great chance that they, too, will be maserbaters.
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A
female
reader, Lilly Rose +, writes (18 May 2009):
 That is exactly it...its what men do.....its normal...nothing to do with you hun, but if it really upsets you talk to him, or try letting him do it infront of you...maybe add it into part of your bedroom fun....just becoz he is masturbatin doesnt mean you cant join in!
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