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Why do men like to play "head games" or string a woman on if they have no intentions of being with you?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 March 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2010)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Why do men like to play "head games" or string a woman on if they have no intentions to be with you? (Meaning for a serious relationship) I won't lie, he is married, and we were seeing each other for over 2.5 yrs. It's not like we had sex every week..the most was maybe 4-5 times a year. We talked alot, and I figured I was giving him what he was missing at home. Well, not anymore..I did break it off with him and I know what I was doing was wrong and I confess up to it. I just hated being "the other woman" and knew that would always be. I figured he had enough time to do or want to do something if he REALLY wanted out of his marriage because of not being so happy. But, EVEN if he WAS single, again, what makes a man WANT to do that? Does this mean the guy just doesn't have any feelings or what?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010):

Its simple. Hes self absorbed,selfish,cowardly & you allowed yourself to be used. Next time try having some self respect. Idiots like him are easy to find & he can be happy i did,nt turn out to be his other woman!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009):

Oh, I think overall the answer is simply that he is a user. Yes he enjoyed talking with you and being with you because you did. When someone cares for another person they listen they comfort they give support it is a wonderful feeling to be attracted to someone who cares like that. So I don't think he did it only for sex because as you said that didn't happen that often. He loved the attention he loved having someone who cared or loved him that way. But he used you. he isnt' and wasn't a friend. He cared for you only in what you gave him :(. This is clear because he took and didn't respect you or the relationship he was in . He is a selfish person. Why do people cheat ...usually because it makes them feel good. It is exciting to have more than one person interested and it is exciting to get away with it. But.... if he had wanted a realtionship with you he would of ended the one he was in. That would of been respectful to you and to his wife. As this lasted for 2+ years it is obvious he strung you along . I feel sorry for his wife and am glad you showed him the door. Stay strong... he was selfish and said and did what he could to string you along. Not because he cared but because he enjoyed the attention glad you cut the string ;)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008):

In this world, the truth is all men like sex.you cannot denied, because this urge comes naturally from their sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2007):

Congrats!!! At least you were strong enough to break it off. I am in a similar predicament and it is almost two years. I know it is wrong and I know he is using me for sex but it's the attention. When he calls, I can't wait to talk to him. Although when we talk, his jokes are usually about me. There is a two sided attraction but I'm not sure why he keeps coming back to me. He doesn't even live close by. Anonymous

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007):

this is going to sound very aburpt - so im sorry - no personal offensive intended - its about sex - and not much more - my husband has been involved with a woman for a couple of years - although hes denied it ofcourse - he tells her one thing and me another - and she isnt the only one either - in fact one one woman came to the house to find out what the situation was with me and him - and he lied about that as well - -

men string women along becos it makes them feel good and usually with one intention - to get them into bed - they say all the right things - all the things you want to hear and believe and when theyve had enough or the other woman starts being demanding, they cool it off and look for excuses as to why they cant leave their wives - the fact is that they never had any intention of doing so in the first place - there are thousand of women out there who genuinely believe their married lover is going to pack up and be with them - the truth is that very few do - and if they are going to leave their partner for a lover its usually done within the first 9 months - after that forget it - so fair play to you for ending it - but dont you think he will be at it again with someone else sooner or later - telling them the same stuff, stringing them along - its the bloke who has the problem - some men are just compulisve liars and cheats when it comes to women - other men may have an affair and regret it and not do it again - but having read a lot about this - men who do it once will cheat again and again and again - - dont be a mistress - you're worth far more than that - arent you?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007):

It means he is dishonest and betrayed - yes, that's the word - his wife by having sex with you, whether it was one time, 4 or 5 or every night. You went along with him in cheating, and bought into his story about giving him what he (supposedly) wasn't getting at home. You were playing games, too, you know?

On the other hand, its to your credit that you did decide to end it, knowing what you were both doing was wrong.

He just wanted what he wants: to have a fling with none of the responsibilities involved in divorcing his wife in order to form a genuine relationship. Learn from it, and don't get involved again with a man who is in any way dishonest!

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (6 March 2007):

eddie agony auntWhat kind of man is he??....Hmmmm...he's just like YOU !!You're both dishonest, selfish, no feelings and uncaring. You don't care about relationships, children commitment...the list goes on. You're just frustrated because you chose to sit in the backseat. You should never even been on board for the ride. Too bad for you.

Why would you wantto give some guy something he wasn't getting at home. How do you know he wasn't getting it at home? Oh yes, he's honest and tells you the truth. There's no good person here. You both chose to live in a rotten relationship for 2.5. Remember, when you point a finger, there's three more pointing abck at you. You're just as wrong as he was.

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A male reader, MajorPayne New Zealand +, writes (6 March 2007):

MajorPayne agony auntDarling i think the guy is a user! He uses Other woman to satiusfy his own needs without caring about anyone elses feelings! try and move on, but don't go back to him! if he comes to you, then well he must have feelings

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007):

A man does it because he can. The type of man who does that can tell smell Desperation a mile away and takes advantage of it. He has no conscience and only cares for himself and what he gets out of it. Come on ladies, wake up and get agrip. Any man who would cheat on his wife (and kids) is just not worth it. If he can cheat on his family, what will he do to you?

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