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Why do men have emotional affairs when they can just be friends?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 November 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 November 2010)
A age 36-40, * writes:

my question is very ckommon...why men have emotional affair..if the girl can be just friend so why the boys does not treat like other friends...why they remain texting....although it is simple but it is also a way of connecting and there becomes a emotional distance with his wife..,.why they hide or delete msgs if they are just friends??why they compare the friend with lover...fiance and life partner...these are sexual relations...friendship is a brother ship relation???the girls know the man is having a good life.?.?why they try to emmotinal vain?..disturber the 3 or 4 peoples life ...some times the innocent people....plz reply as much as you can???

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A female reader, Nina198 Australia +, writes (8 November 2010):

Friends are friends and shouldn't be confused by lovers no matter what sex. However in saying that, if your friends with someone they also want you to be happy in your relationship. Emotional cheating does exist if it's leading to actual cheating. It really comes down to rading the situation and reading how much you trust your partner. You should be able to sit down and say "I'm not comfortable for {a logical reason}" and in response it should be a matter of either "this person is a good friend, I dont want you to feel threatened, hang out with us on an occasion, you'll see that it's just a close friend" and then hopefully as with most friendship, you can see there's nothing more than a friendship. The other possibility is he is emotionally cheating or you still dont trust him, in which case, there's bigger issues than the third person involved and perhaps you really need to sit down and have a d&m

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010):

Yes, a friendship between a man and a woman can become an emotional affair and cause distance in other relationships. It can also turn into a sexual affair. I don't think males and females can really be friends. One of them, usually the male, always wants more.

I think men hide or delete such messages, because they feel guilty about the relationship or fear their spouse will be upset about it.

I think couples need to discuss what is and isn't acceptable concerning a friendship with the opposite sex. One of the most dangerous places for a relationship to blossom into an emotional affair and then a sexual affair is the workplace, and it simply begins by talking about personal issues.

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A male reader, tenfold Australia +, writes (8 November 2010):

if this man is a married man. probably there is a feeling that he can find in another girl but not his wife. A simple solution would be he should sit down with his wife and talk. Talking about how he like things to be, and not about "i like this another girl, lets divorce" =.="

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (8 November 2010):

Jmtmj agony auntI can't take anyone serious when they bring up the topic of "emotional affairs". Just sounds like a slanderous way to say "my partner has friends of the opposite sex and I want them gone". The word "affair" should be saved for ACTUAL affairs.

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