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Why do men during sex sometimes cum fast and sometimes hold off longer?

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Question - (15 July 2007) 23 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, *olleen writes:

Why do men during sex sometimes cum fast and sometimes hold off longer?

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A female reader, Sassy Shay United States +, writes (16 May 2013):

It definitely depends on the guy. I can personally say that my bf, most of the time, makes sure I get mine in first or he says he feels as if he didn't get the job done right. He does have his off moments as a non performer, but he always makes up for it. If he loves you he will want to satisfy you vice versa!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011):

I guess it's all about their mentality at that time. I married last week. We had a whole lot of fun until this day. But today i cummed so soon and i was upset about it. So i googled for a solution and got to see this forum. Anyhow, i got some useful tips from all the users.

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A male reader, faithkign United States +, writes (7 September 2009):

faithkign agony auntits the mind now if you think about it, why do women? take a few minuted to reach orgasm, and men take couple of minutes to reach orgasm becus women they don't think about sex like we guys do , men do a numbers of thinking about sex,

example" why do men have wife and cheat on them and women don't becus we men,, are mind always on sex its the Brian the great wonderful Mind.

the mind its the key of every living cell on this Earth

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A male reader, meganutts United States +, writes (15 August 2009):

meganutts agony auntIt goes like this. The pc muscles in the guys dik r weak. The pc muscle is located between the anus and the strotum and it need to be strengthened to increase stamina. Have ur man practice kegal excercises(google it) and have him get in the gym, working out thouroughly can increase blood flow to the genitals to inprove erection.

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A male reader, dlal231 Canada +, writes (16 July 2009):

I know not everyone is perfect in this talk but my secret to not cumming fast is to smoke a lot of weed before getting intimate with your partner . In doing so your mind will not be thinking of just how good the sex feels but it will be set on how baked you are and how good it feels. Now Don't all act like you never smoked before because i know 75% of you have and are agreeing with me!!!!

(Mod. Note: Changed verbiage)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009):

Well my opinion on guys cuming to fast is they dont do it enof like the more he dose it the longer it takes for the next one one thing you might try if your a guy if you know your going to have sex later or what ever go jack off empty it out guy can do it more than one time just you gotta wait a little while between depends on the guy how long it take 5-40 min, age also applys yunger is usually faster

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008):

I don't know why my boyfriend cums soooo fast. He is the first guy I every had sex with and now I am at the point where I question, "whats so good about sex?" Honestly, we can no have sex and do the "head thing" for the rest of our lives and I will be satified.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008):

My "boyfriend" takes wayyy to long to cum??? Im not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, makes me think he's on some kind of drug...

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A female reader, dee119 United States +, writes (21 October 2008):

I used to have multi-orgasms, but things changed. My husband cums so fast that I never cum anymore.

I don't like sex anymore, because of him. I'm like, one girl said, afraid of my husband.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008):

I actualy managed to stop myself firs time from cummin to quik. If your really liking this girl, you'd stop yourself before you ruin her fun.

Just think about your nan lol. it works but u do go 'URGH' out loud so be warned

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008):

well to please women and spend more time in sex, try to avoid using pennis until you feel that women got enough oral sex, always remember that women can hold sex more then men so spend much time by sucking,kissing etc. during that time always think that it is a war and you are going to win ( more time in sex is winning).

Once you spend time in oral sex, then as menioned by some one in the suggestions, try to have sex for 5 mts and when you think you are going to ejaculate stop sex and have oral sex do it and finally when you decide to cum, CUM that's it.

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A male reader, daletom United States +, writes (11 January 2008):

It's a complicated mixture of things including:

- their age, young guys tend to cum quicker - and recharge a LOT sooner!

- general mental state, stress can either make him last longer or cum sooner

- physical state, some go longer at the end of the day while others last longer with morning sex

- how long since he last ejaculated, and how much he released the last time

- positions, many guys last longer if they're on their back

- type of stimulation, can vary from time to time, some guys are easily triggered by a soft, open vagina; others by a warm mouth; or a firm grip.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008):

i wish i can make my boyfriend cum fasterrrrr it gets kinda boringgggzzzzzzz

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007):

it is a simple matter of stoping befor you cum, I had that problem before and i used to cum within minutes. but i just started using this method and i am sure it will work.

first do a blow job till you feel that you are going to cum then stop and give your female oral sex for 5 minutes.

2nd have her sit on top till you feel you are going to cumthen stop and give her oral sex again for like 5 minutes

3rd you on top does not matter which position till you feel you are going to cum then stop and give her oral sex.

4th let her give you a hand job with sucking till you feel you are going to cum then stop and give her oral for 5 minutes again

5th and final step is get on top and go real fast till you cum.

The whole process will take you about 30 - 40 minutes repeat it 25 times and as you do you will see that you are improving everytime.

By the end of this method you should be able to last a good 20 to 30 minutes of hardcore sex none stop I know because it improved me from 2 minutes to 60 minutes now of hardcore sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007):

my husband is 27 years old and he comes so fast during sex before me and it gets me mad so i'm afraid to have sex with him

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007):

There are so many reasons for cumming too fast. We could be REALLY excited about seeing your naked body and being inside you, which BAM- cum. Or he could be suffering from the "cumming-to-fast" problem that some men have.

We can make it last by doing certain things. Often cumming before sex can prolong it. Thinking about something else while having sex prolongs it (although this takes away from the pleasure of sex). Many, many factors can cause cumming quickly and not cumming soon enough.

If I were to have sex right now, outisde the fact that I've been masturbating for the last hour or so and haven't had sex in like three months- I'd pop really fast.

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A male reader, poopoo New Zealand +, writes (30 July 2007):

What if the guy doesn't cum, how bad is that?

It was my first time and we tried for nearly an hour and it didn't happen, feel kinda bad about it. Any one have a reason?

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A male reader, fred flintstone United States +, writes (24 July 2007):

cumming too fast can be a problem... most of the time i like to cum quick with a nice bj then the second time takes a long time.... if i am inside i like to stop moving if i am getting close to make it last longer and make sure she has had a few orgasms first before i finish..

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (17 July 2007):

AuntyEm agony aunt

I agree with all previous answers but also consider, some guys actually will hold on until you tell them to cum. I dated two guys who like to do this, one of them didn't tell me at first, he wanted to see if I would ask him. He loved it as soon as I 'gave the word' and it made the whole thing more intense for him. Just another thing to consider.

Aunty Em x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007):

sometimes they may just want to make it last :-)

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (15 July 2007):

eddie agony auntIf you could find a way to fix that problem, bottle it and get yourself an infomercial....you'd be a billionaire !!!

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A male reader, Jonty United Kingdom +, writes (15 July 2007):

Jonty agony auntLike flower girl says it will depend on how turned on we are, but also if we have had any alcohol, if we are tired and how long it has been since we last ejaculated will all contribute to how long it takes.

Cuming fast can usually be down to not having it for a while, being really turned on, doing something new in the bedroom or your partner looking at their sexual best at the time.

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (15 July 2007):

flower girl agony auntCan all depend on just how turned on they are.

Take care.xx.

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