A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have a problem...i'm only attracted to older guys! i'm 17 and it seems like people that are 23 and older grab my attention...the oldest crush i had was 38. i have no idea what to do because im in high school and i want to have a relationship with a guy my age, but i'm just simply not turned on by them. when im with the guys all i'm thinking about is the older man i want to be with! HELP!
View related questions:
crush, older man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): I know how you feel, i'm 18 and have always been way more attracted to much older guys, i'm currently involved with a 27year old (which i don't think is too old, although i couldn't see myself in a relationship with anyone older) but i have had experiences that i'll never regret with a man mid 30's and one 50 year old which where both amazing but never wanted a relationship with either but i was attracted to them both very much so and i feel lifes too short to miss out on a connection like that. Lads around my age just don't do it for me. I think wanting an older man is allot to do with the idea of them being more experienced with everything not just sex but life and this said makes them more attractive as they are much more mature, especially where conversations concerned, an adult conversation can go along way. Also i think if you have these feelings for older men then don't fight how you feel, at the end of the day you just haven't met the right person yet, but when you do (whether they are much older than you or not) the age won't be an issue.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): I have the problem as im pretty sure everyone else on here has..I'm 15 an also only ever attracted to older guys ( usualy in their 20s but 35 once). I feel there's nothing wrong with it but at the same time i feel so lonely cos i doubt they will ever see me in the same way.
It's been so hard and i dont know what to do because they seem so perfect to me.. mature, same interests (which i seriously never find in any other guy my age), same humour and everything basically.
So sorry about not answering your question, haha i guess i just needed to share my pain, which i seem to be doomed in.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): I am 17 and I am attracted to this guy at my church that is 20... I guess that is not a huge age difference but it is still pretty big to my parents... but he is just everything I could want in a guy and he is all i can think about...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): Haha well then. I looked up this forum obviously because I have the same problem. I work with a very good looking 26 year old man who has had me attracted to him since the first day I saw him. And I don't know what it is but everytime we talk to each other, even if its work related, its flirty tension. But I recently found out that he's been flirting around big time with one of my co-workers who is also 18. It kind of makes me lose my attraction for him though because he is no longer the dreamy guy that I work with that's just fun to look at and wish you could be with. He obviously won't hold himself back from a girl 8 years younger than him thats barely legal. I don't know how to explain it really. But its weird. And I know that everytime that flirty tension comes up again, I'm going to feel awkward. Because ill know that he probably really IS flirting and I'm not just wishing he was.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): i'm in the same situation
i'm 13 years old and i'm only ever attracted to guys that i cant have
like guys that r 20+
i think its because guys the same age as you are too immature
remember girls mature faster than guys
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): The idea that "women mature faster than men" is prevalent so that older men & younger women can hook up. I don't think it's actually a valid idea, just a useful one because of who we are often attracted to.
Physically speaking there may be a small amount of truth in it, but 1-2 years of biological changes have a way of being used to justify 5 or 10 or 20 years of age disparity in dating.
Emotionally speaking, the idea that women mature faster than men makes me laugh. Women get treated like adults sooner and they are are allowed into the adult world much sooner than men in our society. That says nothing about the real mental maturity level at all. (A sign of REAL maturity would be not chasing after worthless & immature men just because they were born a longer time ago than the "worthless and immature" teenage guys that the same girls reject, for example.)
Teenage boys would suddenly start looking a lot more "mature" in the eyes of teen girls if they were let into every bar in town and chased by every 33-year-old woman in town too.
...............................
A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (10 November 2007):
I totally agree with you, I am also 18 yrs dating a 35 yr old man even though he doesn't look it, he looks like in his 20's. I've always been attracted to older guys cos they are matured and guys my age seem like small immature guys to me, thats the way I see them.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): im also 17 and attracted to men in there 30's. i know how you feel! im not much into partying and ive always had friends a bit older than me. only problem is i wonder do guys in there 30s like girls who are 18?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007): i'm 17 and i'm also attracted to this 'older' guy too... i'm not sure what his age is actually but i think he's around 25 or so. i work with him and he's just awesome... i sometimes feel awkward about liking someone older like that, and i know if anything happened between us my parents would kill me and rat me out about how i'm a whore blah blah blah... so its kinda hopeless... but once ur moved out on ur own, you can do whatever the hell ya want! so if you find 'the one,' even if they're way older, go for it!
good luck,
33333*
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): hey. i totally understand. the guy i like is 28 and im 16. ...but he's my teacher..and has a girlfriend. we talk like good friends. constantly flirting and such..but i dunno. this other guy i like at work is probably around 28 as well. he ALSO has a girlfriend...what is it with me....? i also have this strange fetish for balding/bald guys. like enrico colantoni (veronica mars and just shoot me) ...i think he is sooo sexy. and ohh hugh laurie...and that other guy who plays wilson on HOUSE...dont get me started. ....is that super weird???
...............................
A
female
reader, sunshine99  +, writes (26 March 2007):
 I have always gone for older men - always more mature and on my wavelength. I am 25 now and have been happily married to a guy who is a young 59. Just go for it and as long as you are happy then there is no problems whatsoever. I was never on the same wavelength as my mates. boys my age seemed so immature and still do now!!. I don't regret dating older guys and don't regret marrying one either. Go for it girl. You only get one shot at this life so live it. Best of luck for the future.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007): Hey there,
I am the 18, and feel exactly the same. My boyfriend of just over a year is 14 years older than me, and it works great. Some girls are more mature than others at this age. I've never wanted to go out and party, or mess around with meaningless teen relationships. It acually in a way makes sense to be with an older man. If you're looking for a serious relationship, I would definitely find an older, more grounded guy, rather than a teen who may be going off to college or experimenting with what he wants. I think the mid 20's is perfectly acceptable.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007): hey.we're in the same boat!i know how you're feeling cause im attracted to older guys too.all i can say is follow your heart.love knows no bounderies.but be careful just in case your heart gets broken
take care
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (26 February 2007):
 Hey sweetness,
Well, everyone knows that girls mature faster than boys. Older men are probably more at your maturity level at this stage of the game, and guys who are your age just aren't doing it for you. Alright, that's okay.
If you hold out for another year, I think dating older guys will be just fine for you. 38 is preeeetttyyy old, I'd stick in the lower end of the 20's - but that's not for me to decide. You like who you like. Just be careful with who you see, don't sleep with a guy straight off the bat (it's never a good idea. No matter what age.), and use your best judgement.
There's nothing wrong with liking older guys... you're at an age where 17 year old girls are starting to think liike adults and 17 year old boys have the maturity still of 12 year olds. (Just kidding... or am I?)
Haha, enjoy sweetness.
xxIndia
...............................
|
