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Why do I never feel like having sex with my boyfriend?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 May 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been with my boyfriend for a year now and things are great but i never feel like having sex... other sexual acts are ok... but wen it comes to sex i never really feel like it. its not that hes bad in bed coz he's really good but i just never really feel like it. any advice ? or suggestions?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009):

I agree with a couple of the other answers, it is my belief that if you do not feel like having sex with your partner, either (he/she) dosen't turn you on, or if you are a female, which I am and you are at that age, it is a lack of hormones. But if you don't want to have sex with your partner and they do (really, really, bad) it isn't fair if your not having sex because your not attracted to your partner. If it's a hormone thing get to the doctor, and also hope you have an understanding guy!

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A female reader, candy00s United Kingdom +, writes (28 May 2007):

candy00s agony auntDont feel like you have to have sex with him, take things slow and get to know each other all over again.

It could be that you have a low sex drive.

Try to make things more exciting.

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A female reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx United Kingdom +, writes (28 May 2007):

xxxsoulsistaxxx agony auntThis happens in most relationships: once the first few months has passed where you can't put each other down, this happens: you just get a bit bored and comfortable with it all and it's up to you two to get that spark back before it fizzles out completely!

There could be many reasons for you not wanting sex: maybe you're feeling low about something in your life, maybe you're a bit hormonal or maybe you are just bored with the things you two do. It's time to mix things up and do the things you've always wanted to but never had the guts to do! Tell him your fanatsies and you, his and do them! It's the perfect way to get that spark back into any sex life and the thought of doing these fanatsies will keep you enjoying it for months after!

I hope it sorts itself out and I hope he's being understanding about this. We're not like men, sex is much more of a mood thing for us, and it can turn on and off depending on where we are in life. I hope this advice will help you, but if not, just be patient. Make sure there's nothing about your boyfriend that have a problem with that's stopping you wanting this and just wait: it will come back when you're ready.

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (28 May 2007):

DV1 agony auntMy girl friends told me that this is common among a lot of women. Women don't generally have a high sex drive. Always remember, just because you're not in the mood, doesn't meant that mood can change. Are you attracted to your boyfriend? That could also be a big problem. If you aren't attracted to your boyfriend, there's the root of the problem, and maybe it's time to move on. It's not fair for him to get tied down to someone who can't please his needs as well.

DV1

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (28 May 2007):

Jamer70 agony auntSimple answer could be you feel like your not ready to have sex with him again. Even though you have you may not feel ready again. Just wait

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