A
female
age
36-40,
*ldromantic2010
writes:[OP original title]so i think im falling out of love. the mysterious phone calls from 'his mate' at 2am the stayin out and not coming homethe drugs the living at home with your mum at 31the lack of respect for everyonethe lack of consideration for anyone elses feeling. Yes I think I am definately falling out of love with him. But why Do I keep going back, I must be stupid or crazy or am I just in the habbit of being with this guy? Good guys approach me but as soon as I talk to them i feel guilty. I was not made to be a cheater, im a old romantic. 2 people, 1 love thats all i know. what do i do? Shall I leave?Shall I try and change him?I hate him but love him at the same time, but no i can do better.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 July 2010):
Rule 1 on Men - Don't try to change them. It's a losing battle from the start. To change, a man must want to change himself, for himself. And that rarely happens I'm afraid.
You seem like a nice lady, who is a little insecure, and perhaps like a lot of nice, insecure people you've found a person who you think will need you and will change for you, thus proving you're a good person. Sadly, that's not the case. You can be as nice as ever with this guy, and he will not change.
This guy is just bad, and you have been approached by better. Go for someone better, or this guy will tear you apart. You can't make him change, and if he won't change for himself, then you need to end it. I actually think it's took late for him anyway, and think that you should leave. You need to focus on yourself and make a break away from this guy
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (9 July 2010):
 Nobody can make you leave except you. Loving someone can make you blind to their sins...and eventually their sins will destroy you. If you believe in 2 people one love with him...then stay and sacrifice yourself for his bad behaviour. Really he has the life he wants...and you to condone it...he's not going to change!!
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